


Metagenesis

by Macx



Series: Denuo [12]
Category: Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Paranormal, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-13
Updated: 2011-05-13
Packaged: 2017-10-19 08:22:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezra has to make a decision and he finally does: against his own convictions and terrified of the outcome. Maybe it was the right thing to do; maybe it was the worst mistake ever. It remains to be seen. At least it saved Chris...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metagenesis

 

In the darkend room, Ezra stepped closer to the bed, watching the figure of his lover. He inhaled deeply as Chris slowly opened his eyes.  
"You're here," Larabee rasped, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"Yes."  
A weak smile graced the pale lips and Ezra felt something inside of him cry in response. Chris was barely able to move any more, but there was still spirit in his hazel eyes, a spirit that was slowly dying with the failing body. A spirit he could save. If he wanted to. If he had the courage.  
Ezra slipped under the blankets, taking Chris into his arms from behind and carefully started to stroke his lover's skin. Chris sighed softly, content. The vampire closed his eyes in sadness as he touched the man, almost fragile, nothing more than skin and bones. The illness had done this to him in mere months.  
He nibbled at the other man's ear, working himself carefully down the neck, and he felt Chris shudder in pleasure as Ezra let his vampire nature take over. For a brief moment, he let the monster in him out of the cage. He let it follow its instincts. Chris's breath became more and more shallow, his heartbeat started to fade, and Ezra pressed his palm on his neck. Chris turned a little, and the vampire bent down to gently kiss those lips he loved, looking into the hazel eyes, hearing Chris's whispered "I love you", before the light in his lover's eyes died. The last breath escaped his lips, the heart stumbled once, twice and - stopped.  
Chris Larabee had passed away.  
Ezra bent down his head in grief, his body starting to tremble violently, as the vampire wept, holding the lifeless body of his lover close.  
"I love you, too, Chris. Forever."  
He opened his hand and with a soft metallic 'cling' the little blood covered knife fell onto the floor.

It was how Buck and Vin found him, laying on the bed, Chris's body cradled in his arms. Vin stepped closer, taking in the scene in front if his eyes, and inhaled deeply, as he understood what he was seeing. He felt Buck stiffen at his side.  
Chris Larabee was dead.  
There was no blood, no visible wound, but the unnaturally pale features spoke volumes.  
But - would he stay that way, or would he...? Vin didn't know what to say, how to ask. The sight in front of him was cruel enough.  
"Ezra?"  
He approached the vampire carefully, unsure of what to expect. Ezra looked up slowly, green eyes glowing with an inhuman fire. Vin had somehow expected blood dripping down his lips, but the man looked no different than normally... except for the eyes. They were an indicator as to what had happened, what he had done.  
"Are you happy now?" Ezra rasped, looking straight at Buck. "He's dead because I did it."  
Vin looked at Buck, confused. He saw the pale color of the skin, the eyes wide with something he couldn't quite identify. His lover inhaled as if trying to say something, but then Buck just turned around and left.  
"That's what you should do, too," Vin heard Ezra's rough voice behind him whisper. "Go. Leave. If... you shouldn't be here when he wakes."  
Vin watched Ezra closely, trying to get a glimpse of an idea what the vampire was going through right now, holding the dead body of the man he loved more than his own life in his arms, knowing that it had been him who had actually... but knowing at the same time the result had been almost the same if he hadn't done it. God, if it had been Buck...  
"You sure?" Vin croaked, receiving a slight nod.  
"Yes. Go."  
"Ezra, I..."  
Green eyes flared. "What the hell did you not understand? I said go. Now!"  
Vin nodded. "All right. Keep us informed."  
With that he left the bedroom and closed the door after himself. A shiver ran down his spine and Vin felt sick. Oh god.....  
He caught sight of Buck in the living room, standing lost and alone in front of the book shelf, eyes staring at nothing.  
"Buck? You okay?" he inquired softly.  
"Yes. Let's go." His lover's voice was flat, without any emotions at all.  
"Buck?"  
"What?"  
"You're acting strange lately."  
Buck raised his gaze to look at him, expression empty. „My oldest friend just died. What do you expect me to do? Let's go."  
"Where to?" Vin wanted to know.  
"Home."  
Vin bent own and carefully lifted Shawn from the floor.  
"C'mon, little lady, let's go. There's nothing more you or me can do here right now." He whispered as he silently left the room.

*

Ezra carefully laid Chris down, pulling the sheet over the cooling body and sank down on the floor, leaning against the bed. He had no idea what to do now but wait. Hope. Pray maybe. He had no idea if it would work, if Chris would wake up again, or, if he did, when that would be. He wanted to stay, look after Chris, but at the same time he wanted to run away as far as he could, hide somewhere in a hole as deep as the deepest hell. And mourn.  
Ezra knew he wouldn't get hungry. From what he felt, he would never be hungry again. It was the second time in his vampire life that he had killed. This time it had been the person closest to him. He had sucked Chris dry, removed all his blood, filling his own system with it. He had starved himself enough to be able to take the amount he had to.  
Ezra squeezed his eyes shut.  
He would never do this again.  
One way or another, he never would.  
"I'm willing to take that chance once in my life. With you," he whispered. The words he had said in another life, to another man. He let his head sink down on his knees. "I'll stay with you, Chris. Wherever, whenever, whatever."  
Ezra closed his eyes at the silent vow.  
And waited.

* * *

He sucked in a sharp breath, feeling his heart beat like a drum in his chest. The air caused him to cough. He tried to open his eyes, but the eyelids felt as if they were made of lead. As did his extremities, he noticed as he tried to move. Another breath, and another one. The air had never smelled that way, sweet and clean, like a forest after a spring shower. He managed to open his eyes.  
The room around him was dark, yet glowing in a light he had never seen before. Someone was at his side, and the smell increased, warm and clear,  
"Ssshhh, easy, Chris, easy."  
A honeyed voice, a southern drawl. He knew that voice...  
"Ez... ra?"  
His voice sounded rusty in his ears, as if he hadn't used it for ages.  
"Yes, it's me. Do you want to sit up?" his lover whispered, the voice so close. He felt warmth radiate from the body next to him.  
"Yeah..."  
Careful hands were on his body, gently helping him to reach a sitting position. Chris looked around and noticed that he was in his home, in his bedroom, and his lover was at his side. His eyes were drawn to the familiar form and he frowned as he looked at the vampire. Ezra appeared exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes that were in stark contrast to his pale skin. The green eyes appeared hollow, as if he had seen something terrible, something that still haunted him. The hair was disheveled and his clothes were rumpled. As if he had slept in them. It was so unlike Ezra, it stood out like a beacon that caught Chris’s attention despite his weak and confused state of mind. His lover looked like he had gone through hell and back.  
“Ezra?” he rasped again.  
He tried to swallow but his throat was dry as the salt desert.  
"Here, that'll help."  
A mug appeared in front of his eyes, and he took it gratefully. The moment the first sips passed his throat he noticed the strange smell and taste. Strange, yes, but in a wonderful way. And somehow it seemed to warm him from the inside like a damn good scotch would have. Without the head-spinning effects.  
"What is this?"  
Ezra evaded his eyes, the mug still in his hands. He let it sink onto his thighs as he cleared his throat. "Life, Chris."  
Chris puzzled over the word, confused. "I don't understand..."  
He took a closer look at the liquid in the mug; except for the consistency it could very well be...  
Oh my god!  
Nausea rose inside him, mixed with a strange feeling of this being perfectly okay. Both sensations warred inside him and he sank against the headboard of the bed.  
"Blood?" he managed.  
A brief nod.  
"Ezra, what the hell is going on here?" he demanded, feeling his body strengthen, his mind kicking into working order.  
"What is the last thing you remember?" the vampire asked carefully.  
Chris frowned and thought about that. "Last thing I know... I was waiting for you. You came. I got tired. You were holding me in your arms. Then I must've fallen asleep." He shrugged. "That's it."  
"How do you feel?"  
"How I..."  
More confusion. Then it dawned. He felt good. Except for being bone tired, that was. No exhaustion, no feverish sensations, no nothing. Chris knew he had been dying. The leukemia had returned, the had been suffering even worse than before, he had had a relapse. And he had refused further treatment.  
"What happened?" he whispered.  
"You died."  
"I... what?!"  
Shock coursed through him. Impossible! He couldn't have... died. Could he? He was alive, he felt good... great, actually. He felt reborn, like he had never been sick!  
"You died," Ezra repeated, his tone flat and lacking any emotion.  
"How?"  
"I killed you."  
"You what?" He sounded like a broken record. "I.... I don't feel dead in any way."  
Something was not right here. He had to be dreaming. This was a dream and nothing else. He would wake up and be... sick and dying again. The thought sobered him.  
"Because you aren't," Ezra said carefully.  
Chris's mind was reeling, completely on overload, and he wasn't making much sense of anything at the moment. Suddenly something hit him and his eyes widened. No... no, it couldn't be...  
"Wait a minute... did you do what I think you did?" he exclaimed.  
Ezra met his eyes levelly. "If you're asking if I turned you in a vampire, affirmative. I did."  
Chris didn't react. What Ezra was revealing to him, what he was actually telling him... it was quite a lot. He was trying to comprehend it, he was trying to understand the implications, the reasons, but it was too far beyond him.  
"Does that mean, I am like you?"  
Standish's expression was neutral, his eyes still not meeting his. "You are a vampire, Chris, yes."  
"Ah hell!"

Ezra flinched at the outburst. He had known it, from the beginning. It hadn't been a good idea, no sir. Well, Chris hadn't actually asked him to do it, not in these words. He had asked about how a vampire was made, and if Ezra would do it for him, but when Ezra had refused to talk about it, he had let the matter rest. It was obvious: Chris would have rather died than become the monster he was now. He should have talked to him about it, should have let him make the choice. Instead, he had played god, he had made the decision for Chris and now he had condemned him to the life Ezra had never wanted to live either. He had let Buck force his hand, had let his guilt and fear and desperation overshadow his reasoning.  
He had made a horrendous mistake...  
"I apologize, Chris," Ezra murmured and drew back, not wanting to see the look in his lover's eyes. "It was presumptuous of me.... I had no right."  
He rose from the bed and turned to leave.  
"Ezra, wait," Chris called. He slid off the bed, stepping forward.  
"What?"  
"You -- really killed me? You drank my blood?"  
"Yes."  
"It must have almost killed you as well," Chris whispered.  
For the first time Ezra met his lover's eyes squarely and what he saw there was compassion and shared pain. "You have no idea."  
Chris walked closer to him. "Gawd.... Ez... I.... I'm sorry you had to go through this."  
Ezra swallowed. "I wish I could say I did it for you, Chris," he managed. "But now, looking back, I have to admit I did it for myself..."  
Chris closed the last little bit of distance between them. "Really? I thought you were too neurotic to attempt such a change.... let alone think about drinking human blood."  
Standish winced. "I'm not neurotic," he mumbled.  
Chris chuckled softly. "Okay, phobic." His hand touched Ezra's arm, squeezing it. "Ezra... I don't dare to say I know what this cost you. I think I'd never be able to really understand. But I think I know what this means for you. Thank you."  
He drew the smaller man into an embrace, soft lips brushing over his forehead. Ezra looked up into the hazel eyes, seeing the warmth and love he had always seen in Chris's eyes. His lover didn't understand everything yet, all the implications, all the changes. It would come later, the real anger and pain and betrayal. The wish to have died instead of an undead experience.  
And he would have to deal with it then.

* * *  
   
Vin watched Buck closely. He had been doing so for some time now. The last months had been hard on every one of them, as they had been forced to watch Chris die. But in some way it had affected Buck more. Wilmington had become monosyllabic during that awful time, lost in thought, startling when talked to. But they all had had their share of problems, so Vin had to admit, he hadn't paid too much attention.  
Now he would.  
"Buck?"  
"Hm?"  
His lover was sitting on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table, reading.  
"You know, this must be a real fascinating chapter. You haven't turned a page for fifteen minutes now."  
Buck focused his attention on Vin, looking, slightly confused. "You watching me here, Tanner?"  
"There are times when you didn't mind being watched," Vin teased. But this was too serious for his liking. "Buck, something's wrong with you. And don't you give me that innocent look. I know you too well."  
"I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. Everything's all right."  
Buck rose as he spoke and headed toward the kitchen, where Vin heard him bustling around.  
"Yeah, right," the geologist murmured and followed him.  
"You want coffee, too?" Wilmington called.  
"No." Vin leaned in the doorframe, watching Buck closely. "It's not coffee I want. I want you to trust me, talk to me, before it's eating you up."  
Buck slammed the mug he was holding into the sink. "I said: Everything. Is. All. Right. Stop nagging, Tanner!"  
Vin blinked in surprise at the outburst. Now he was really worried. He knew Buck could develop a temper when provoked, but normally he didn't react that way, didn't direct his moods on his lover or friends. And he wasn't the type to unleash them either. Nevertheless, Buck's whole body language spoke of a strong tension right now, barely suppressed anger. Or something else?  
Vin carefully stepped closer to Buck, wrapping his arms around the other man, letting his hands wander over the arms and chest to stroke the tension away. Buck didn't look at him, but he didn't turn away either. Instead Vin felt the body in his arms tremble.  
"Vin, really, I don't..."  
"You do," Vin murmured softly, burying his head in his lover's neck, nuzzling it, waiting.  
"Vin..."  
"Hm."  
Suddenly Buck's body was becoming lax in Vin's embrace and he turned him around in his arms. Buck inhaled, as if trying to get himself under control again.  
"It's just... I don't know what it is, Vin," he confessed, voice shaking ever so slightly.  
"Try it."  
"Uhm... it's... you know... first we met Ezra, and we have to rebuild our concept of the world. Then we get bitten by him. It was the most erotic experience I ever had, while in the meantime it scared me shitless. Did you know he could have killed us, any of us, without even blinking, hadn't it been for Luther? Or even with Luther present. Maybe some minutes later, he would? Even Chris." Buck swallowed hard. "And then... you becoming a wolf, in front of... I couldn't help you in any way... And Chris getting leukemia. Now he's dead... I just... oh shit!"  
Vin swallowed at this outbreak and tightened his embrace. But Buck hadn't finished yet.  
"Vin... where do I stand in all of this? What is still stable around me? Or who?"  
Oops. This was more than Vin had expected. Buck always appeared to be good-natured, easy-going, the last man standing. Tanner knew him better, knew that his lover was warm, sensitive and caring, with a heart as big as the Grand Canyon. Maybe it was just that. Buck normally spoke out loud what was on his mind, getting rid of whatever bothered him. This time it seemed as if it had been too much even for Buck, and he had withdrawn from his friends, from his lover. Vin felt the body in his arms tremble even more and he just ran his arms over the other man's back in a comforting gesture, stroking, wanting to let him know he was here, by his side, and that that was the place he wanted to be, forever.

*

Vin leaned back in his chair, rubbing a tired hand over his eyes. Buck was firmly asleep on the couch, mentally exhausted. The geologist watched his lover, wondering what to do. Buck needed some distance from all of this, physical distance. He needed to get away, straighten out his life again, balance his soul. No one had noticed how so much had piled onto the chemist that he had simply caved in. He hadn't asked for help or talked to Vin; he had simply pushed on, trying to be strong.  
God, you are strong, lover, but there is a limit for everyone. You reached yours. And I'll be damned if I let you go on destroying yourself.  
But Buck wouldn't go anywhere as long as they didn't know about Chris's fate.  
Vin looked at the watch and sighed. It was way past midnight and normally a good time to reach Ezra, but right now, he couldn't be sure what was a good time. They would have to wait for Ezra to come to them first.  
Getting up, Vin walked over to his lover, drawing a blanket over the sleeping man. He pressed a gentle kiss onto his forehead, then went into the bedroom to catch some sleep himself. A soft meowing alerted him to their guest. He had nearly forgotten about her. Shawn had stretched out on the large bed, her round belly prominently displayed.  
"Hey, kitty," Vin sighed, rubbing her furry head.  
"Mrow."  
"Same here."  
"Mrrrr."  
"Yeah." Vin smiled as he readied himself for bed. "Yeah...."

* * *

Vin was the first to wake. He yawned, stretched, then padded over to the master bathroom. A quick shower revived him marginally and after he had shaved, he at least looked like himself. He didn't feel it, though. When he went into the living room, he discovered that Buck was awake, too. The couch was empty and the blanket had been folded and set down in a corner. The smell of coffee from the kitchen told him where his lover was.  
"Morning," he called as he entered.  
Buck gave him a smile and held out a mug. "Coffee?" he offered.  
"Desperately." He sipped at the strong, black liquid.  
There was a moment of silence, then Wilmington put his own mug down and gazed at his lover. "I'm sorry."  
"'bout what?"  
"Everything. Lately, I've been an ass."  
Vin smiled slightly. "No more than usual."  
Buck's serious eyes met him. "A lot more than usual, Vin. Don't try to turn this into a menial matter."  
"Okay, I won't."  
Whatever else he had wanted to say was interrupted by a loud, meowing call from outside. Both men walked out into the living room, following the calls from their cat guest.  
Shawn meowed plaintively, sitting in front of the door and staring at it.  
"Hey, kitty, what's wrong?" Buck asked confused. The look the black cat gave him was impatient, to say the least. "Huh?"  
"I think she wants out." Vin kneeled down to scratch her behind the ear. "Right?"  
"Mwrr!" Shawn butted his head against his fingers, but continued to stare at the door.  
"She can't. I mean she... you know... the babies..."  
"Maybe that's what this is all about. From what I've learned, cats decide very carefully where they want to deliver their kittens. And I think our little one here has her own ideas about that, right?"  
"Mw-rrrr!" Shawn agreed, tail flicking.  
"You mean... it's about time?" Buck asked.  
"Dunno. But wherever she wants to go... let's follow." Vin opened the door and with a brief purr Shawn rushed past him.  
"Okay, let's follow the little lady," Buck agreed and grabbed their jackets, tossing Vin his.

* * *

Ezra sat on the bed and looked down at his lover. They had talked a little after Chris's awakening, but the other man had tired quickly, which was not surprising. His body was still in the process of changing, adapting, and he needed rest and food. Chris had actually managed to drink some more blood, but he hadn't looked all too happy about it. Ezra felt with him. Neither had he in the beginning, but Chris would get used to the taste. The monster inside him would make sure of it.  
There were lots of things the new vampire had to learn. Some of them Ezra would show him, but not all. It wasn't actually forbidden to be sire and lover in one person, but the community didn't actually like it. Neither did Ezra. Emotional connections between sire and child should be formed throughout the teaching process. Being the lover, having shared so much already, hindered the learning process.  
Chris stirred slightly, ready to face another day. One thing his body had to adjust itself to was the amount of sleep a vampire actually needed. Now Chris needed almost as much as he had as a human. His sleep pattern would change in the next few weeks, especially the night-day pattern.  
"Morning," Ezra whispered as sleepy slightly glowing, hazel eyes looked up at him.  
"It's morning?" Chris murmured, still half asleep.  
"Hm-hm," Ezra murmured back and decided this was the right moment to start a lecture. Which would be fun for the both of them.  
He bent down to his lover and started to kiss him gently.

Chris blinked as something tingled at his senses until he realized it was Ezra's presence. He asked himself when he would get used to this strange feeling. Ezra greeted him, then bent down, lips softly and gently brushing over Chris's.  
It prickled.  
Chris's eyes widened at the unexpected yet familiar sensation, feeling his body react almost immediately. The taste of his lover was incredible, like a mixture of fresh fruits and exotic Champaign. Something he definitely had no problems becoming addicted to.  
He moaned deep in his throat and pulled Ezra closer, wanting to lose himself in the kiss, in the touch of their lips, in the other man. Ezra's hands were gently stroking over his skin as he laid down by his side, and Chris couldn't help but arch into the touch.  
Déjà vu, a part of his mind noticed. Had all that before. But his body just didn't want to obey his mind. It just wanted to feel, touch, react, and evoke reactions, because he heard Ezra moan as well, felt the heavy breathing, the restless hands roaming over his body. Ezra started to nibble down Chris's neck, throat and chest, his hands wandering down south toward Chris's already straining hardness, fingers closing around it. Chris felt a gasp escape his lips, as he thrust into the touch involuntarily. The climax rushed through his body like nothing he had ever felt before.  
Panting, he buried his face in his lover's neck.  
"What the hell was that, Ezra? I thought we are over that..." he managed after a few minutes.  
Ezra chuckled, amusement dancing in the green eyes that now regarded him. "Not quite. You are a vampire now, Chris, you have extended senses. Every one of them. You will get used to my taste, smell -- and touch again. It was like that for me, too, the first time."  
"When was that?"  
Standish looked thoughtful. "Let me think... about a year ago."  
"What?!"  
"Chris, you know that you were the first for me after I became a vampire, and maybe you remember my reactions to you? Now you know why. And maybe....," he grinned devilishly, "you should enjoy it. Who knows how long this will last? Besides, we vampires are famous for our - uh, sucking abilities..."  
And with that he started to prove that statement right, chuckling again as Chris let his head fall back into the pillows, clenching his fists into the sheets and moaning again.

* * *

"Well, I'll be damned. Didn't think the little one would come here," Buck murmured, aghast at the sight of the havoc that greeted him.  
It looked like a tornado had gone through the place. The pictures had been torn from the wall, the furniture destroyed, the display case lay in a shattered heap, and even the doors had been removed from their hinges. One had been thrown clear across the room. A gang of vandals couldn't have been more effective, he mused. He had seen a lot of vandalism in his time with the police, but this time, here in this house, he knew who had done it. And that it had been only one person.  
He walked into the living room, debris crunching under his feet. There was a series of fist-sized holes in one wall and Buck shuddered, remembering how the vampire had punched clear through a brick wall.  
"Cat has a mind of her own. " Vin shrugged as he carefully walked around what was left of the dining table.  
"Uh-huh. And her owner as well."  
 Buck whistled through his teeth, imagining the rage and fury Ezra must have felt to cause - this. He had woken the vampire once, and was, in his opinion, damn lucky to have survived it. It hadn't been his credit, Ezra had regained enough self control to not harm him.  
Shawn looked around the house, then started to climb the stairs to the bedroom. The two men followed as the soon-to-be mother scouted for a place. Finally she stopped, purring and treading around on the torn blanket that lay in the middle of the gutted mattress.  
"I think she made a decision," Buck commented.  
"Yep."  
"Now what?"  
Vin shrugged. "She knows what to do, Buck. We just make sure she has enough food and water." He looked around the ravaged bedroom. A reminder of Ezra's emotional state of mind if there was one.  
Buck crouched down next to the black cat and scratched her. Shawn leaned into the caress. "You take good care of yourself, little one. We'll be back with some food."  
"Meowr!"  
They left not much later, locking the door. As Vin pulled away and onto the street, Buck looked back at the townhouse. It appeared calm and quiet, nothing hinting at the destruction inside.  
So much like Ezra, he mused. So very much.

* * *

Luther was busy talking to someone on his cell phone when Vin entered the Grotto. Tanner nodded at the regular waiters and waitresses, all of them knowing who he was by now. Harriet gave him a warm smile.  
"Vin, what can I do for you?" Luther asked after he had snapped the cell shut.  
"Ezra needs some shakes."  
The dark-skinned vampire raised his brows. "All right. I'll call Sam," he only said, not inclined to ask, but Vin knew he was curious.  
"I'll drop it off," the geologist told him.  
"Okay."  
He sighed. "Ez didn't call or anything, right?"  
"I haven't heard from him in a while. Not since he almost took my head off after getting seriously drunk."  
Vin smiled humorlessly. "Yeah, well.... Stuff happened." He sat down on a bar stool. "Chris died."  
Luther lost some of his color, even though Vin would have thought it wasn't possible for a black man to look so gray. "Sweet Jesus," he whispered.  
"Ezra did it," Vin added. "He turned him."  
Luther's expression turned into one of even deeper shock. "Chris is a vampire?"  
"Well, last time I saw them... Chris was...." He hesitated. "He was dead. Haven't heard from Ezra since, but I want to believe the best."  
The vampire exhaled explosively. "Oh Lord," he murmured again.  
"Buck's over at Ezra's place to grab some clothes and feed Shawn. She's about to give birth to her litter any day now."  
Luther nodded. "I'll call Sam. I doubt Ezra will need any food any time soon, though. He had to drain Chris to make this work and that means he had to starve himself beforehand. Knowing him, he won't eat anything for the next days, or even the whole week."  
"Understandable," Vin muttered.  
The vampire opened his cell and speed-dialed, then waited. "Sammy? It's Luther. I need a package. Deliver it to the club. Yes. Thanks." He looked at Vin. "Fifteen minutes."  
The geologist nodded his thanks and smiled at Harriet when a mineral water was placed in front of him.

Fifteen minutes later a delivery was brought to the Grotto. Luther talked softly with the man carrying in the non-descript package, then handed the delivery over to Vin. "Keep me posted," he instructed Tanner.  
"I will. You think it worked?"  
Luther sighed. "I hope so. Want me to call ahead?"  
Vin grimaced and shook his head. "No. I think you pissed him off enough already."  
The vampire chuckled. "See you."

* * *

"Ezra?"  
Vin carefully opened the door to Chris's apartment. He had picked up Buck at Ezra's old place where the other man had skimmed through the remnants of the vampire's closet and packed up some of his clothes and some toiletries. Their friend might need them. Vin had become deeply worried about Buck's behavior by now. Silent most of the times, monosyllabic when spoken to, and that was that. Vin had the impression that there was more on his lover's mind than what he already had discovered. Wilmington had definitely reached his limits, and, as soon as they would know more about Chris, Vin would have a long talk with Travis. Buck needed time off.  
"We brought you some clothes and food," he called.  
"Drop it on the table."  
Vin looked up and saw the vampire standing on the stairs, looking like the proverbial death warmed over, from what Tanner could see in the semi-darkness of the room. Ezra made a slight move and the werewolf saw the eyes glow in a inhuman light. They were talking to the vampire at the moment. A shiver coursed through his body. This was very disturbing. Freaky, even.  
"I'll just leave it here."  
Buck put the bag with the clothing on the table, right beside the brown paper bag with some blood containers.  
"C'mon, Vin. We're not welcome here at the moment."  
Vin put a hand on Buck's arm, ignoring the words of his lover, as well as the flat tone of voice. "Wait. Ez, how's Chris?"  
"Alive." Ezra's voice was just as flat, but there was something else in there, something Vin didn't like hearing. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it was an inhuman coldness that seemed to go along with the vampire gazing down at them.  
Still, at the news Vin let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding until the rather harsh answer. The last time he had seen Chris the man had been - well, dead. He shuddered involuntarily. It had been a sight he would never ever forget in his life. He heard Buck inhale deeply at his side, felt a hand clench painfully on his shoulder. Buck had seen it too, of course, and it had been even harder on him. A part of Vin wondered how Ezra managed all of this.  
"Something we can do?" he asked silently.  
"Yes. Leave." The vampire turned around, not paying any more attention.  
"Ezra?"  
Standish stopped briefly, but he didn't turn around. "What?"  
"Keep us informed, will you?" Vin asked softly. He saw the shoulders of the vampire slump, heard the trembling breath he inhaled, and saw the short nod..  
"Thanks..." Ezra whispered, then returned to the bedroom.  
The werewolf turned around, slipping a hand around his lover's waist, massaging the lower back.  
"Let's go," he murmured softly. He had a call to make. Actually, two, if all went well. The first he intended to make in person.

* * *

"You want what?" Travis looked at the young agent. "Agent Tanner, did I understand you correctly that you ask for some time off for you and your partner, right out of the blue, because you claim not to be able to do your job properly due to stress?"  
"Yes, sir." Vin met his superior's eyes unwaveringly and with a lot of determination.  
"And you expect me to grant that request?" the AD asked.  
"Yes, sir."  
"Hm."  
Orrin Travis watched the man closely and, from the body language he was able to tell Tanner was telling the truth, but most likely it wasn't him having problems. He sighed inwardly. His best CSI team had been forced through a lot lately, with Ezra as an unofficial addition, Tanner turned into a werewolf, which he still had slight problems adapting to, and now the terrible illness of their team leader and friend. The team had managed so far and despite some apprehensions, Travis had seen that they could still function. Not on new cases, no. He had given them back-up work, desk duty, but they had still pulled it off and delivered results on time and in perfect order.  
He had expected something like this sooner or later and was glad it wasn't a major break down.  
"Two weeks," he growled, making his decision. "Starting Monday next week. This will give me time to rearrange cases. Two weeks for the whole team. And, Tanner... "  
"Yes, sir?"  
"No surprises during that time, understood?"  
"Yes, sir!"

Vin walked out of the office and to the elevators, allowing himself to slump against the cabin's inner wall when the doors had closed after him. He sighed in relief. Two weeks for everyone. Not bad. He and Buck needed that time; very, very badly. And he knew just where to go.

* * *

It was close to sundown.  
It had to be.  
Chris sat on the couch, with his eyes shut, just listening. He was trying to ignore the world, the human world, and let the vampire have a look around. It felt so incredibly strange sometimes, but the sensations were too brief to pin them down.  
There was a whiff of something he had never smelled, only to find out that it was something ordinary like a kitchen spice or the old volumes in his shelves. Then there was his hearing. He heard everything with a clarity he couldn’t describe. Nothing he felt could be put into words, into human terms. It was new, exciting, and still… familiar? Chris didn’t even want to think about his changed eyesight. Seeing in the dark was no longer a problem. He had worn night vision goggles before, he had seen infrared images, but this was simply different. It was seeing, but not like in broad daylight. Oh so difficult to put into words, too.  
So Chris had stopped trying to define it. Ezra had actually told him to stop wreaking his brain about it. Accept what you are, go on and learn about yourself.  
Which was why Chris was sitting on the couch, listening to his body.  
It had to be sundown. It felt like sundown.  
Hm, then again, last time he had thought it was early morning, he had walked out into bright midday sunshine. Damn, it hadn’t been one of the nicest experiences ever. While Ezra tolerated the sun, he hadn’t developed all those shields and immunities yet. He was a newborn, a baby. No protective skin, no defenses. His lover had assured him that it would come in time, but for now, he would have to take it slow. One step at a time.  
Chris suddenly blinked as he noticed something unusual. A scent, to be precise, that seemed to intensify every time Ezra was near. But he had never smelled anything like this before. Opening his eyes, he discovered the older vampire just entering the room from the kitchen.  
"Uhm, Ezra?" he probed.  
"Hm?"  
"I, ah, seem to have a problem here."  
Ezra looked up with a mild frown. "Yes? What is it?"  
"Dunno exactly. I can... are you using a new eau de cologne, or something?" Chris rubbed the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed.  
"Not that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?"  
"Well, uhm, it seems that I am able to... smell you?"  
The other vampire smiled. "Quite correct."  
"Oh?"  
Ezra sighed. "I told you about extended vampire senses, didn't I?"  
"Yes? And this is... " Chris trailed off.  
"Indeed. This is an example for one of them. You indeed 'smell' me. The person, not just the scent of an eau de cologne or something. This is me." Ezra smiled.  
"I see."  
"And?" Standish inquired.  
"And what?"  
"Still like it?"  
"Uhm... "  
Ezra touched his chest with one hand. "Now I'm seriously wounded, Chris. You're not by any chance trying to tell me something here, are you?"  
Larabee laughed. "No, no... it's just... I have to get accustomed to the sensation itself. No, really, I like it. Never thought you'd smell like a desert full of flowers after a spring shower."  
"What?!?!"

* * *

Vin sat on the couch, the portable phone against one ear, waiting. He had been waiting for a while now, listening to clicking and crackling noises, to an operator telling him to stand by, until he finally reached his destination.  
"Vin?"  
The surprised voice belonged to no one other but a very good, though recent, friend.  
"Hi, Paul," Vin called, grinning.  
"What gives me the honor?" Paul Cross, constable with the RCMP, asked, still a touch of surprise in his voice.  
"I was wondering if I could get you to make good on that offer you made a while ago."  
There was a moment of silence. "You want to come for a visit? Sure. No problem. When and how long?"  
"Depends on when I get flights. We got two weeks of vacation coming up this Monday. Still got some stuff to do here, pack my bags, convince Buck it's best for us to unwind in the wilderness of Northern Canada..."  
Paul chuckled. "Okay. I'll make arrangements. If you want to fly in, get a plane to Yellowknife. I'll be there."  
"Thanks. I'll call when I have details."  
"Okay. Vin?"  
"Hm?"  
"Everything okay?"  
Vin was silent for a moment. "It'll be when we get there, Paul. See ya."

* * *

By now, almost three weeks had passed since Chris had died and Ezra had changed him into a vampire. Vin couldn't really say he had counted the days. He had been surprised to see that so much time had gone by without him registering it. Tomorrow would be their last day at work, for the whole team, and then two weeks of vacation. Nathan had decided to spend the time in San Diego with some friends. Josiah wanted to take his old camping van out of storage and drive out toward Canyonlands National Park to unwind. JD wasn't sure what to do yet, but Vin thought the young hacker would probably spend the time with his computers.  
The only problem for Vin and Buck and their plans to fly north was Shawn. Both didn't want to leave the cat alone, especially since she had kittens now and there was no one else to feed her. That problem resolved itself when the geologist walked into the trashed townhouse just after sunrise to feed the familiar and clean the litter box. Buck was right on his heels and nearly bumped into him when he stopped.  
"Buck," Vin whispered softly, voice awed.  
The taller man peered around him and for the first time in days, a smile flew over his lips. A real smile. "Now willya look at that...." he murmured.  
Shawn sat in the middle of a torn up couch pillow, looking out over a lively bunch of tiny, furry kittens. There were four altogether, with different colors, and their were stumbling all over each other as they clumsily played with their litter mates.  
"Hey, Shawn," Vin greeted the mother gently. He crouched down next to the cat family, but didn't make any attempts to touch them. "They are beautiful."  
"Mrow!"  
Shawn watched them with pride. One of the kittens, a silver tabby, fell over its black sibling. Buck chuckled.  
"Mrrrrr." The black cat butted her head against Vin's knee.  
"Okay, translation?"  
Shawn walked over to the door, scratched at it, then went back to her litter, meowing again.  
"You wanna leave?" Buck hazarded a guess.  
"Mow!"  
"Okay, that was clear. I think the little lady is ready to move." Vin grinned. "We should find a box to put the kittens in."  
Half an hour later, Vin drove over to Chris's place, Buck on the passenger seat with a box full of kittens and a mother cat. They had called ahead, to make sure it was okay to come by, and Ezra had actually sounded like his old self.

* * *

The first time Ezra allowed Chris to get some visitors it was Vin and Buck. Ezra had thought about it, had known that the presence of other people would confuse the over-sensitized senses of the new vampire. Chris had just managed to adjust to his presence, to the reaction his body was showing to him, his scent and - of course - the pheromones they both were still radiating. But the fact that Chris wanted, and needed, to get on with his life remained. His lover would have lots of things to learn, and Ezra didn't want him to learn the hard way. The way he had.  
The doorbell pulled Ezra out of his thoughts and he went to open it.  
"Hey, Ez." Vin walked in, handing a brown paper bag over to the vampire.  
"Huh?"  
"Snacks." Buck smiled as he followed his lover, carrying an open cardboard box. "For the two of you. Thought you might want it."  
"Thanks. 'S appreciated." Ezra raised his eyebrows at the box and Buck held it out for him to see. Shawn wrapped herself around Ezra's leg, purring loudly.  
The vampire felt a smile tug at his lips as he saw the four small cats. He looked down at his familiar. "Well done," he said softly.  
"'rw!"  
"Where do you want me to put them?"  
"Kitchen."  
"I'll get the litter box from the car," Vin told them and hurried out again, just to return a few minutes later, carrying a bag of litter and the box.  
"Hi, guys." Chris appeared at the stairs, and Buck stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of his friend. Chris frowned. "Something wrong, Bucklin?"  
"You look... great."  
Indeed he did. Gone were the dark shadows under the eyes or the waxen color of his skin and he visibly had gained weight. Chris Larabee looked almost like his former self. Almost.  
"I imagine so, for a recently deceased person," Larabee joked.  
"Uhm... yeah." Buck cleared his throat, evading Chris's gaze. "I'll.... go and take care of... uh... the kittens."  
Ezra frowned and looked at Vin, but received only a shrug. Later. Not now and not here. Looking more closely at the man, Standish saw the lines of tension in the tall frame, the way he seemed to be hurting without a visible, physical wound. Something had happened to Buck and Vin knew what it was. Something he didn't want to discuss right now. Okay, he would honor that. If the two men needed to talk, the vampire would listen, but he wouldn't force the issue.  
"Shawn's back," Ezra announced to break the silence.  
"Mowr!" the familiar made herself known and almost pounced Chris, who smiled happily and gave her his undivided attention for a minute.  
Shawn pulled back when she had received her backrubs and hurried over to where Buck was cooing to the kittens, stroking a forefinger over one tiny head. Chris followed her and the happy smile widened as he took in the four babies.  
"Beautiful, Shawn," he told the proud mother.  
She gave him a look that told him that, of course, they were beautiful. They were hers.  
"Chris, I talked to Travis," Tanner interrupted the cat moment.  
Larabee looked up. "And?"  
"As of Monday next week, the whole team has two weeks off. That's it. He doesn't know about you." Vin met the hazel eyes head-on. "I believe it's up to you to tell him."  
Chris nodded. "I will. Anything else?"  
"Buck and I are using the free time to head north. Canada. We want to visit Paul, stretch our legs... the wolf needs to unwind." The geologist shot Chris a grin.  
Chris chuckled. "Okay." But something told Ezra that his lover wasn't convinced by the explanation. Neither was Ezra. Something else had happened to the two men and the vacation was just an excuse.  
"When will you leave?" Standish wanted to know.  
"Sunday. We're flying into Calgary, then take smaller planes all the way up to Yellowknife."  
"All right. Take care."  
Vin smiled again. "Will do. Anything you two need?"  
Ezra shook his head. "No, thank you. We can handle it from here." He met the younger man's eyes. "Thank you for everything," he said quietly.  
Tanner just nodded. He raised an eyebrow as Chris suddenly gave him a strange look. "What?"  
"I don't know...."  
"What!" Vin demanded.  
Chris cleared his throat. "Uhm, if I should hazard a guess I'd say you two had an interesting evening."  
"What makes you think that?"  
Chris opened his mouth to answer, but stopped confused, his eyes searching for Ezra. "Good question. What makes me think that?"  
Ezra couldn't suppress a chuckle. Of course he had noticed the cloud of pheromones that was surrounding his two friends, a dead giveaway of the nature of their earlier actions, but he had seen no reason to say anything. His own emanations weren't much different... and additionally he had seen it as a good option to try Chris's senses.  
"Trust your instincts, Chris. What makes you think that?"  
"It's... sorry to say that, guys, but it's a... well, a trace of... a scent?"  
Ezra nodded. Best way to describe it.  
"And?"  
Chris looked thoughtful for some more seconds, then started to grin.  
"Pheromones! That's what they smell like? Oh boy... "  
Vin almost blushed. "Ah hell," he muttered. "'Nother one."  
Buck didn't comment, but he looked embarrassed as well. Chris shrugged sheepishly.  
"Sorry."  
"Huh, not your fault, cowboy."  
There was suddenly a loud noise from the kitchen, followed by a feline exclamation.  
“Uh-oh,” Vin muttered and rose automatically. “Kittens.”  
“Shawn?” Ezra called, getting up as well and following the werewolf to see what had happened.  
“Want something to drink?” Chris offered to his silent friend.  
“Only if you have something stronger than coffee,” was the reply.  
Chris couldn’t help but grin at that and went for the liquor cabinet, pouring Buck some whiskey. He placed the tumbler on the coffee table in front of him.  
“Thanks.”  
Buck took the glass and played a little with it, rolling it in his hands, staring into the amber liquid as if it held all the answers of the world.  
“You done meditating?”  
“Huh?”  
“Buck, either drink it or put it back. You’ve been staring into that glass for more’n ages. What’s wrong?”  
In the background, they could hear the other two moving around in the kitchen, talking to the kittens and mother.  
“Nothing.”  
“Yeah, tell me another one, Wilmington. You’re talking to me here, remember? The guy who has known you for twenty years now?”  
“Uhm-hm.” Buck gulped down the whiskey in one.  
Chris frowned. He didn’t need to rely on his new senses to know that Buck had a serious problem.  
“Chris?”  
“Hm?”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“’Bout what?”  
“Being a – you know … how was it … when you…”  
“Died, Buck. That’s the word. I died, and now I’m a vampire.”  
“Ezra had to kill you,” Buck whispered and Chris lifted one eyebrow. Now they were getting somewhere.  
“Yes, he had.”  
“I… we … Vin and I, we saw it… you, I mean. Just after… ah, hell.”  
Buck raked one hand through his dark hair and looked away, clearly avoiding Chris’s gaze. He looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but here. Chris inhaled, trying to get a grip on what it was Buck was actually telling him here: that he had seen his dead body. The vampire tried to understand what it must have done to Buck to actually see him like that after what they had gone through together, and he didn’t just mean the fight against the cancer. It had been a long time since he and Buck had been lovers, even though neither of them had actually been ‘in love’ with the other. Yet… he felt special about Buck. And something told him that this was returned.  
“I’m sorry, pard,” Chris said quietly, trying to soothe the raw nerves of his oldest friend.  
He felt the urge to get over and hug the man, but something held him back, the feeling that Buck wouldn’t allow that right now. So all he had to reach his best friend was his voice, and Chris tried to put as much compassion and understanding into it as he could manage.  
“I’m sorry that you had to see it. I understand how you must feel about it … “  
“You don’t.” The reply was short and flat – and right to the point.  
“All right, I don’t. When I met Ezra he already was a vampire. I didn’t have to stand aside and watch him become something so strange, something that seems to belong into a nightmare, turn into a creature out of a splatter movie, right in front of my eyes.”  
“Larabee, what the hell are you talking about?” the chemist demanded.  
“I’m talking about Vin, Buck. I’m talking about Ezra, and I’m talking about me. You stood by my side, ever since college: You where there for me, came hell or high water. You still are. You were there when I met Jo-Ann. You were my best man at the wedding, and you paced through the hospital with me when Andrew was born. You helped me through the time when Jo-Ann and I split up, and… you never asked for something in return. When I saw that look on your face when you laid eyes on Vin for the first time I knew I was finally able to pay you back for some of that friendship. And I saw the look on your face when Vin became a werewolf, Buck. And don’t think I didn’t notice the way you look at me since…”  
“CHRIS!”  
The sharp yell and a similar sharp grip on his shoulder made Chris’s head whirl around, and he faced a very worried Ezra Standish. Chris realized with a shock he hadn’t even noticed the man enter the room – or step up right behind him.  
“Ezra? What …?”  
With a short movement of the head Ezra pointed toward Buck. Wilmington was still sitting on the couch, but he looked kind of pale around the nose.He blinked several times and shook his head as if he wanted to shake off some fog in his mind.  
“What… Ezra?” he stammered.  
“What happened?” Chris asked confused.  
“You used your powers on him, involuntarily. The hunting skill, remember?”  
“I… shit! I didn’t even realize I was doing something. Buck…” Chris approached the man, but Buck was up and heading toward the door without another word.  
“Buck!”  
Chris followed his friend, cursing inwardly about his stupidity and lack of common sense. He grabbed Buck’s upper arm, but was shook off. Wilmington turned halfway around and lifted both hands in what looked to Chris like a defensive gesture.  
Shit, shit, shit!  
“Buck, listen …”  
“Don’t! Just... don’t. I will… I’ll get used to it, okay? To everything… just… not now. Tell Ezra I’m sorry, will you? See ya in two weeks.”  
And without another word he was gone.  
Chris stared at the departing figure. “My god, Ezra, what have I done?” he whispered, horrified by himself. “I mean, he came here to talk to me and I… what have I done?”  
“You used your hunting skill on him. What had you intended?”  
“I wanted to appear calm. I wanted him to understand, to calm down …”  
“I see. I’m sorry, Chris.”  
Chris turned around, confusion written all over his features. “You? Whatever for?”  
“I should have taught you earlier, at least show you.”  
Chris looked at the older vampire in utter confusion. “Ez, you officially lost me here. Hunting skills?”  
Standish sighed. It wasn’t something he liked to be reminded of.  
“Remember when Vin went out to look for me in the desert and brought me home? I was starving …”  
“Ye-es? You had to feed on Vin and Buck, but …”  
“Do you remember the looks on their faces?”  
Ezra watched as understanding slowly dawned.  
“Whoa … they enjoyed it!”  
“Yes. If a vampire wants to, he can simply suck his victim dry … and it wouldn’t even try to fight it, lost in the erotic sensation the vampire creates. I should have foreseen something like this… and Buck being on the receiving end, of all people…”  
Chris looked very thoughtful all of a sudden. “There is something really, really wrong with him.”  
“Yes.”  
“You know something about it, Ez? He asked me to tell you he’s sorry. Does that make sense to you?”  
The older vampire nodded sadly. “Unfortunately it does. It … “  
Vin calling out to them interrupted whatever he had been about to say. Tanner had been in the kitchen, then had made a quick bathroom stop, so he hadn’t been privy to the brief but intense situation out front.  
“Ezra, Chris, where’s Buck?”  
“He left. He was very... disturbed,” Ezra answered slowly.  
“Damn!”  
The way Vin was avoiding his gaze told Ezra more than anything else he somehow had expected something like this to happen, that maybe something else had happened before, and that Vin was worried to the core.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Ez, I don’t …”  
“Vin, please. I know it has something to do with me. Don’t you think it’s only fair if you let me know at last?” the vampire begged.  
The geologist looked at him, then at Chris, who had been silent and still remained so, and sighed wordlessly.  
“Yeah, maybe you’re right,“ he murmured, and, running a hand through his hair, he let his guard down, anxiety and worry now clearly visible on his face. “I don’t know all of it myself, but we’re not visiting Paul just for the wolf in me.”  
“I thought as much. It’s for Buck, to get him out of here, right?”  
“Something like that, yes. Guys, I’ve never seen him like this before. He… hell, he even broke down a while ago, when you… died, Chris. He didn’t actually cry his heart out, but for Buck… I mean, him acting like that… it’s kinda scary. I feel so damn helpless. I don’t know what to do.”  
Chris exhaled explosively. “Shit,” he summarized it in one word.  
“You think your vacation will help?” Ezra asked.  
“I hope so. I actually pray it will,” was the honest answer.

* * *

Buck and Vin left the following morning and took a plane to Calgary. By the end of the day, they were sitting in a small propeller plane to Yellowknife, both bundled up in winter clothes, their backpacks in the stow room behind them. Buck appeared to be his usual self, but something still ate at him deep inside. Vin knew it, almost felt or smelled it, and he would do everything in his power to get his lover to tell him, to let him in. They had to work through this together.  
The plane touched down in Yellowknife just after sundown.

* * *

It was three days into the team's vacation. Buck and Vin were in the Northwest Territories. Vin had called once to let them know that everything was fine, that they' would head out somewhere with Paul, away from whatever civilization there still was. Josiah was in Canyonlands National Park, Nathan had just left for San Diego, and JD was having fun in Salt Lake. That left the two vampires to themselves. Everyone had inquired about Chris and Ezra had revealed only as much as he was comfortable with. Chris was alive, he was well, but he hadn’t told any of the others about Chris’s change. He still needed to learn so much about himself. Which was why Ezra had arranged for Luther to come by this week. They needed to talk and he hoped Chris would agree to the arrangement.  
Ezra smiled as he discovered his lover looking down at the litter of four kittens, a soft expression in his eyes. As the older vampire approached, Chris turned, giving him a smile.  
"They are cute," he said softly.  
"Yes, they are. Beautiful kittens, Shawn."  
"Mrow." The proud mother licked over the only black one.  
Ezra slipped an arm around Chris's slender waist and the two men walked over to the living room and sank onto the black, leather couch.  
"What's on your mind?" Chris asked.  
Ezra sighed deeply. "I've been thinking about this... change... the situation as it is. Chris, you can die now. Chris Larabee, CSI agent, can disappear. You'll never get a chance like this again." He met the hazel eyes. "You can get out now."  
Chris met the serious eyes and licked his lower lip. "You mean... just go?"  
Ezra nodded. "Everyone knows you were sick. Dying. You could just... die for real."  
"And then?"  
"Create a new life."  
Chris leaned back against the couch and pinched his eyes. "Gawd...."  
"You don't have to make this decision now, Chris. I only wanted to tell you that it is possible." Ezra gazed at him, facial expression neutral. "Whatever you decide, you have my full support."  
Chris leaned over, took one hand and gently kissed the inside of Ezra's wrist. "I know. Thank you. I'll think about it."  
"But you already know," Ezra finished the thought.  
Larabee sighed. "I can't really give up my job just yet," he murmured. "Neither do I want to leave Vin and Buck alone with all of this." He interlaced his fingers with Ezra's. "I know what being a vampire means, how much time I have now. I want to spend my next years here, in my job. I'll talk to Travis."  
Ezra chuckled. "Orrin will have a coronary."

* * *

Orrin Travis walked up the stairs to the apartment building where one of his agents had rented a place. He didn't know what to expect and somehow, he refused to guess. The call from Ezra had surprised him. Much more had surprised him the request to come over to Chris's place because they needed to talk. Recently, there had been little from the Larabee front. Vin and Buck had told him that Chris was apparently better, but they had been rather... brief about it. Close-mouthed, was another word that popped into mind. So Ezra's call had rallied him into action and the moment it was past office hours, Travis had driven over to the small complex.  
The sun was still out, but he wasn't surprised when Ezra opened the door. The vampire looked a bit tired, but there was a light in his eyes that Travis had missed the last months, ever since Chris had come down sick. If the expression was anything to go by, the news had to be good.  
"Hello, Orrin."  
"Ezra."  
He stepped into the spacious living room, his eyes automatically taking in the layout of the apartment. He had never been here. Why should he have?  
"What's wrong?" the AD asked, straight-forward and without much fuss.  
Ezra smiled. "Why should anything be wrong?"  
Travis shot his old friend a pointed look and the vampire chuckled.  
 "Sit down. Do you want something to drink?"  
"Depends on what you're going to tell me."  
"Hm, brandy, I think."  
He sighed. "That bad?"  
"Depends on your definition of bad, sir."  
The strong voice surprised him and Travis looked around as Chris walked out into the living room, looking a whole lot better than the last time he had seen the man. His skin no longer had the appearance of dried parchment, it had actually gained a healthy look, and the eyes were no longer sunken orbs in a sickly face. All in all Chris looked... like he had before he had come down with leukemia.  
"Chris. You look good."  
Larabee smiled. "Thank you, sir. I feel good."  
"You are on remission again?"  
Something tickled Travis's inner alarm as he watched his agent sit down on the couch opposite to the couch chair he had taken. Ezra came out of the kitchen and placed a glass and a bottle of brandy in front of him.  
The whole bottle, Travis mused. Okay, this was going to be more than bad. This was a shocker.  
"Something like it, Sir," Chris answered slowly. "Well, not remission exactly. It's gone."  
Travis frowned. "Gone. You're cured?"  
A nod.  
"Just like that?"  
"No, not just like that." Hazel eyes met his. "I died."  
Travis let the two words sink in. I died. But Chris sat before him, alive and well. Looking healthy and...  
"Good heavens," he murmured, automatically reaching for the shot glass.  
He swallowed the brandy, feeling it burn down his throat. The AD looked at the vampire who sat perched on the arm of the couch, face neutral.  
"Ezra?"  
"Orrin?"  
"You... actually... bit him?"  
Ezra nodded slowly. "Yes."  
Travis refilled his glass, then looked at Chris. "Why?"  
"I think it's obvious, sir. I was dying. It was my last chance."  
Travis emptied half the glass and placed the rest onto the table again. "You voluntarily let yourself be changed into a vampire?" He looked at Ezra. "By the very one who once told me he would never condemn anyone to that kind of life?"  
Ezra winced and Chris suddenly frowned, a dark cloud passing over his features. "Yes, that's what I did, Sir."  
Travis sighed deeply. "Why?"  
"Because I couldn't lose him, Orrin," Ezra suddenly said softly.  
Chris shot the vampire an unreadable look, but Travis thought there was a small amount of alarm in his eyes. Ezra's expression was neutral.  
"And I didn't do it just like that. I gave it a lot of thought. Weeks, actually. Almost the whole time Chris was in hospital, then when he was at home."  
Travis was silent, sipping at the alcohol. He mulled it all over, wondering what they expected of him. Part of him mused over the small declaration Ezra had made, but it was drowned by more imminent concerns for now.  
"So I now have a team that has two paranormals working for it, hm?" he said after a while. "A werewolf and a vampire."  
"Apparently, Sir." Chris gave him a small smile. "I'm not asking for my old position. I doubt you could give it to me. I have new limitations now... My tolerance of sunlight isn't up to speed yet. It might take a while."  
"All his vampire abilities will need time to develop," Ezra added calmly.  
"So you'll be on further sick leave?"  
"I'd like to pretend that I'm on remission once more. Maybe start to work part time for now, then increase my hours. If you're worried about the medical paperwork, Ezra said he knows someone who can take care of that."  
"I bet he does," Travis grumbled.  
Standish only smiled.  
"So what are your future plans?"  
"I want to continue working for The Branch as long as a I can, Sir. Vin's a good team leader and I don't mind lab work. I'll take over the evening and night shifts on call, too. No problem. It'll help the others."  
The AD nodded. "I’ll think about it. Do the others know?"  
Of course they would, he thought. Wilmington and Tanner did, at least.  
"Not everyone. Vin and Buck do," Chris answered.  
Travis looked thoughtful. “Okay, listen. I’ll think about it, but until I’ve made my decision, you are still head of this team. I don’t want to lose you as my team leader, Chris. You’re one of the best I have. We can make this work, I’m sure.”  
“Thank you, sir,” Chris answered.  
The AD left not much after that and the two men were alone. Ezra let himself sink against his lover and Chris bestowed a soft kiss on the chestnut hair.  
“I wonder what he’ll cook up,” the older vampire murmured.  
“I guess he’ll let us know when he’s ready,” Larabee commented.  
“I’m sure he will.”

* * *

It was late already. Late for human terms, not for vampires. Ezra was sitting cross-legged on the couch, his notebook on his lap, working on all the little things he had to catch up to. He had neglected much in the last weeks and months, and Luther hadn’t been able to handle it all. He had kept the avalanches from getting lose, he had done a great job, but he wasn’t Ezra Standish. He was the head of the Salt Lake community.  
Chris was reading a book, something he hadn’t done for a while, as he had confessed. It was a quiet, early morning.  
Ezra closed the notebook after another hour and watched his lover for a while. Then he decided to just get it over with.  
“Chris, there’s something I have to talk to you about.”  
Larabee looked up from his book. “Oh?” He put the novel down when he noticed the expression on Standish’s face.  
“Yes. You realize that by community directives I am your sire?” Ezra asked carefully.  
“Uh… “ Larabee rubbed his neck.  
Ezra had to smile at the expression that declaration had placed on his lover’s face. Of course Chris knew about the sire-child-relationship, but he had never really realized that by turning him into a vampire, Ezra had become his sire, taking the place of a ‘father’, so to speak.  
“Don’t worry, Chris. The community doesn’t really condemn a relationship like ours, but it doesn’t like it either. In clear terms: I can’t be your sire and your lover, I have to make a decision. So, your agreement provided, I called Luther. Officially he will be the one to teach you, so there won’t be a conflict of interests, so to speak. I won’t interfere in his teaching, but if you have any questions or want to train I will be there. ”  
A small smile appeared on the pale features. “Conflict of interests, hm?”  
“Sure.” Ezra grinned. “Did you ever do what your father thought was the best for you? Or did Andrew? To go and try to teach a lover can open a gap between two people, and that’s something I don’t want to risk.”  
“Hm, putting that way… “  
“I am. Agreed?”  
Chris walked over to his lover and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, then placed a kiss onto the willing lips. “Agreed.”

* * *

"Vin, where the hell do you think you're running here?" Buck hollered after the departing figure of his fur-covered lover.  
The wolf just yipped happily, enjoying the feeling of free, open snow-covered country without the necessity to hide. Buck shook his head, half worried, half amused. But he was glad that Vin had the possibility to run freely without any boundaries. Even if a human should see him out here, he wouldn't be surprised. Large, light-gray Timber wolves weren't exactly rare in the Territories. He smiled at the way his lover almost bounced with happiness as he sniffed the ground, powdered his nose with snow in the process, or pricked his ears when something caught his attention, following the sound with his ears, or the scent with his nose in the air.  
This little vacation was starting to turn into a lot of fun, Wilmington had to confess. Paul had picked them up in Yellowknife and had driven them out here, into the middle of nowhere, where a friend of his had a small cabin. By ‘small’, he meant a four-bedroom, two story building with a shed where snowmobiles were parked. There was running water, great heating, a sizeable kitchen, and everything was stocked to feed two families with five children each. In one word, it was perfect.  
Cross had told them to call if they needed anything. They had a portable phone, as well as a satellite hook-up if there was an emergency. They would be able to reach any kind of outpost with that little gadget.  
Vin started running joyously all of a sudden, jumping into a nearby bush. Buck shook his head. He had probably sniffed out another rabbit and would soon be chasing it all over the place.  
A sharp metallic cling, and the surprised yelp of an animal in pain.  
"VIN!" Buck grabbed his gun and followed the tracks the wolf had left, swearing profoundly.  
Buck was glad Vin had decided to stay within visible range. When running in the desert, he usually left nothing but a dust cloud behind. Buck carefully entered the bushes and swallowed hard at the sight that greeted him.  
"On my god."  
Vin was laying on the ground, panting heavily. His right front leg was trapped between the cruel metallic teeth of a very rusted looking wolf trap, which had embedded themselves deep in the animal's flesh. Probably broke the bones, too, and blood was saturating the snow. Vin was whining in pain, but the moment he saw Buck, he tried to get away from him.  
"Sshhh, Vin, it's me, ol' Buck. C'mon, you know me, right? The guy you spend the nights with? Who takes you to the desert and buys you meat?"  
Buck tried his best to soothe the agitated animal. Because at the moment that was all Vin was, the wolf nature and instincts taking over due to the pain. Which must have been incredible. If he could just reach Vin, get him out of that trap and... then what? Well, first things first. Vin lay flat on the ground, flanks moving with every heavy breath, and he whined once in a while. When Buck made a careful move toward his lover, the wolf growled dangerously, revealing his impressive teeth.  
Cheerful puppy one moment, dangerous creature the next.  
Buck swallowed and retreated slowly, sitting down in the snow. He continued speaking to the wolf, trying to soothe him, to reach Vin who was somewhere inside the frightened animal. He needed Vin to trust him so he could get him free. Vin needed to trust him with his life, literally, because Buck had no idea how long Vin could last like this.  
He noticed that the wolf had already started to shiver. Shock, Buck decided, and maybe blood loss. He swore inwardly at that, because if the animal fell unconscious and he was able to free him, Vin couldn't change back. Thinking about it, would Vin be able to shift back considering his condition and the pain he must be in? Damnit!  
Despite his desperate thoughts Buck started to speak softly to Vin again, carefully approaching him once more. This time it took longer until the wolf growled at him. He had let him come closer.  
Buck understood he would have to take his time, wait for the animal to be too exhausted to fight to get him out of the trap. Every single whine, every tortured breath of his lover, every look of pain clouded eyes pierced Buck's heart like a dagger. But he waited, speaking softly, watching the wolf closely. Until Vin closed his eyes.  
Buck approached the wolf, not sure how he would react, if he was unconscious or just worn out. The moment he reached for the trap, opened it and carefully pulled the sharp edges out of the animal's flesh, the wolf yelped in pain. It whirled around and sank its teeth into Buck's arm.  
Buck pulled his arm back and looked at the torn fabric of his thick winter jacket. He couldn't make out any blood and it didn't actually hurt, so he forgot about it immediately, especially when the wolf gave another pain filled whine. With some effort he pulled the rusty trap apart, careful he wouldn't accidentally get trapped inside it as well. That wouldn't help either of them. While doing so, he continued speaking softly and reassuringly to the animal. Once the trap was open, the wolf pulled his injured leg out quickly and jerked back in an attempt to get away from here, giving a sharp yelp as another bolt of pain seemed to run through him. The furry body shivered and the wolf tried to lick the wound.  
"C'mon on, furball, let me help you, all right?" Buck tried again to get through to Vin, realizing that he might be running out of time here.  
This time he seemed to be more successful. Recognition dawned in the wolf's eyes as he cautiously watched Buck, and he let him come closer, body still tense. Argus-eyed, the wolf watched Buck's hand come closer until he finally touched the furry neck of his lover. Buck started long, tender strokes over the wolf's back until he felt the body underneath his hands relax.  
"Vin?"  
A yip answered him. God, he had done it. Vin was back finally.  
"Can you shift back? I know this must hurt like hell, but I can help you much better if you are human."  
The animal looked at him, eyes still clouded with pain.  
"Please, try it. Pretty please?"  
The wolf whined and closed his eyes. Buck swallowed as he watched the animal, watched the efforts his lover put into the attempt to change back into his human form, despite the pain that was distracting his concentration. But he managed. After approximately five minutes the figure that was laying in the blood covered snow, trembling with shock, pain and cold, was completely human. Buck was at his lover's side in no time.  
"All right, pard. You did it. Now let's get you warm and dry, and this arm looked at."  
"Thanks," Vin murmured utterly exhausted, as Buck carefully dressed him while trying his best not to hurt Vin any further.  
"Am I mistaken or does this look better already?"  
"Don't know how it looked earlier," Vin breathed around the pain, "just know it hurts - DAMN!" Vin gasped and paled as Buck splinted the broken bones and disinfected the wound with some alcohol. Buck cringed at that, knowing that he had caused his lover more pain, looking apologetically at Vin.  
"Sorry there, pard. Can you walk?"  
"Think so."  
"Good. I'll call Paul. Tell him to meet us at the hospital."  
"How do we explain that? They will recognize this sort a' injury."  
"We don't. Paul will. We found an injured wolf in a trap. We tried to free it, you got trapped yourself in the process. End of story."  
"Uhm-hm."

* * *

Paul did back up their story, even though he didn't like the whole mess. Which he let everybody know by swearing in such a profound way, even Buck thought his ears would develop a nice, rather reddish tone. He hadn't known Mounties had such an extended vocabulary.  
"Now what’s this all about?" Buck asked when Cross finally wound down.  
"Wolf traps are illegal around here. Hell, every trap like that is, causing lots of damage and stressing the poor creature that is unlucky enough to run into one. Which you could tell by know, I'm sure." Paul looked furious.  
Vin nodded. His arm had been taken care of, cleaned up and bandaged, and he had been released from the hospital by his own wish. He had signed the AMA papers and was now a free man.  
"You were quite lucky. If this had happened without your friend here present, you'd either be dead by now or running around three-legged. Which would have the same results," the Mountie continued.  
"Huh?"  
"You'd be the wolf, Vin. Sometimes trapped animals are chewing off their own extremities to free themselves from those traps. Mostly they don't survive that."  
"Shit!"  
Paul nodded. "Exactly."  
Buck noticed the slight greenish tone around his lover's nose, and gave the young werewolf a reassuring squeeze.  
"Well, I was, and you didn't. You'd better get some rest now, furball, try to sleep. You must be bone tired." He smiled at the big yawn and the half-heated glare he received.  
"Don't call me furball."  
"Vin. Go to sleep."  
"If you say so... mom."  
"I do. Need help?"  
"Naw. Think I can manage on my own, thanks."  
“Yeah, right.”  
Vin, already half asleep, mumbled a protest when Buck hauled him off to bed, but he was off in dreamland before Wilmington had him fully undressed.  
“He’s out,” the chemist told the other man when he walked back into the large living room. Buck slipped out of his jacket and headed toward the liquor cabinet. "Want some?" he asked.  
Paul shook his head. "Have Ginger Ale?"  
"Uh, you like the real strong stuff, huh?"  
When Buck put the bottle in front of his guest, Paul's hand jerked up and caught his wrist. Buck froze at the look on the Mountie's face, the gray eyes fixed on his right forearm. Buck followed that gaze and noticed the torn sleeve - and the already dried stains of red.  
"Oh that? It doesn't even hurt - ouch! Well, not much.” Buck had gasped because Paul had pulled up the sleeve and inspected the scratches on his arm.  
"How did this happen?" Cross asked, tone flat.  
Buck frowned, not liking this much. What the hell was this fuss all about?  
"It happened when I tried to free Vin. Pain and all, he just lashed out. Doubt he even remembers."  
"He bit you?"  
"Ye-es?"  
"Shit." Paul let go of Buck’s arm and leaned back in the chair.  
"Why ever should... ?"  
"You don't get it, right? Welcome to the club, Buck. You've been bitten by a werewolf."  
Buck's eyes widened in utter shock as he finally realized what Paul was telling him... and what it meant for his future. He sank on one of the chairs, deathly pale.  
"Oh - SHIT!"  
Paul just cleared his throat. "I think I'll be able to get some days off next month, Buck. I'll come over, help you get through it. At least you know the basics and as soon Vin knows..."  
"Don't tell him," Wilmington interrupted him.  
"Come again?"  
"Don't you dare tell him. That's my job."  
Paul looked at Buck and he didn't like what he saw. But he was right, it wasn't his.  
"If you insist."  
"Yeah, I do."  
“I’ll check back with you tomorrow. You better get some rest now.”  
With that he left and not much later, Buck heard the tell-tale roar of the 4x4 outside as Cross drove off.

* * *

Paul had an eye on Vin and Buck the following days. On Vin because he wanted to make sure the young werewolf was healing properly and not pulling any stunts that would re-open the wound, though he knew through experience that werewolves had much greater healing abilities than the average human. And on Buck because he felt that the tall man was hurting. Not only by the fact that his partner and lover had bitten him while being in his werewolf shape and he therefore would be forced to turn into a wolf himself come next full moon, phobic or not. There was something else around the man, something like a dark cloud. Wilmington did his best to hide it, but sometimes it showed, by the way he didn’t look Paul in the eyes, or avoided even Vin’s gaze; by the fact that he was picking at his food when he felt unwatched, or the faraway look that sometimes sneaked itself into his eyes.  
Something was on Buck Wilmington’s mind, something that Paul assumed could get very ugly. And he hated ugly.

“You okay?”  
Buck started at the unexpected approach. Not that the Mountie had really sneaked up on him. He just wasn’t as attentive as he used to be. Or rather lost in his thoughts lately. Thoughts and images he’d rather not have, Buck wished silently.  
“Yep.”  
“Doesn’t look like that to me.”  
“Yeah? Well, work on your perception skills.”  
Ouch, Buck winced inwardly, that had been uncalled for. Hell, he had become irritable toward his friends lately, snapping even at Vin for really harmless remarks.  
“My perception works fine, thank you very much. Buck, you are not okay. You have a problem, and turning into a werewolf for the first time in your life in a few days doesn’t really help. I think that’s just the icing, right?”  
“Paul, ‘preciate your concern, but I. Am. Fine. Better fuss over Vin, will ya?”  
“Talking about Vin, did you tell him already?”  
“Nope.”  
“Buck, he has a right … “  
“Goddamn it, Cross! What I tell my lover or not is none of your damn business, got it? Now leave me the hell alone!”  
Buck rushed past the stunned Mountie, wishing he could bite his tongue. God, Paul had turned out to be a friend, had been there for Vin once and was there for the both of them now. It was only natural that he was worried about the well-being of a friend. So why the hell was he snapping at him for that?  
Suddenly Buck realized something Paul had said, something he just hadn’t wanted to take a closer look at. It was just a few days until full moon. The night before full moon he would turn, and it would be one hell of an experience. Buck couldn’t help shuddering at the sudden bolt of fear that seemed to stab his stomach. But then he knew. He didn’t want Vin to see, to watch … he didn’t want to look into Vin’s eyes, see the same disgust in them he himself had displayed back then. So there was only one possibility left.  
And Buck would take it.  
“Hey, Buck have you seen … Buck?”  
Wilmington ignored the puzzled look on his lover’s face as he wordlessly rushed past him.

* * *

 Vin stalked into the small office and all but slammed the door shut behind him. "Where is he?"  
Paul looked at the intruder, puzzled, suspicion rising. "Who?"  
"You know damn well who I'm talking about. Buck. He's gone, and I’d like to know what the two of you were talking about the other day."  
"Vin, I don't..."  
"Paul, my patience has reached its limits! You are facing a very pissed off werewolf right now, and if you like your furniture - talk!" Tanner hissed, hands on the hardwood table, glaring at the older man.  
While his arm was still bandaged, it had healed mostly already and was barely bothering him. Regenerative powers were a gift.  
"Careful, Vin,” the Mountie warned him, voice soft and low. “You're talking about my territory here. Why don't you sit down, relax, and tell me exactly what happened."  
"Damnit, Paul..."  
"Sit!"  
The Mountie didn't even raise his voice, just looked at Vin, and the young werewolf found himself indeed sitting down without any further protest. For a split second he wondered about how Cross would hold up in a 'discussion' with Chris...  
"So?"  
"He's gone. Just packed up his things and left, without a word. Paul, I'm..." Vin swallowed. "I'm scared. You know, we came here for some relaxation. Too much happened lately, and he... well, he broke down." He looked at the Mountie somewhat pleadingly. "If you have an idea... "  
Paul leaned back and sighed. If he had known that little fact earlier, he would have acted different. Unfortunately ‘what if's’ wouldn't get them anywhere.  
"What do you remember about your accident, Vin?"  
He received a puzzled look. "What has that..."  
"Tell me."  
"I was running around, chasing rabbits... then a snap, pain. Felt like my leg was on fire... I panicked, I think. Then there was Buck's voice, and I knew I was safe. Still hurt, but... he was there. Why? What’s wrong?”  
Paul nodded at the description the man gave him. "The animal instincts took over, Vin. Buck told me about it. He needed almost fifteen minutes to reach you."  
"Fifteen... wow... he didn't tell me."  
"Of course not. He wanted to protect you."  
"Protect me from what?"  
"From what you did in those fifteen minutes."  
Confusion was written plainly on the younger man’s features. „What I...?"  
"The wolf was in control, and it panicked, defended itself against a threat."  
"What did I do, Paul?" Vin asked through gritted teeth, getting more and more worried with the minute.  
"You bit him."  
Vin blinked a few times, then realization hit. He had bitten his lover, when he had been a werewolf. That meant...  
"Oh SHIT!"  
"That's exactly what he said. When did he leave?" Paul asked calmly.  
"Dunno."  
"Wait a second." Cross grabbed his phone and dialed a number. Vin listened absentmindedly to his part of the conversation. "Yes, sir... no, sir... yes, sir. At once.... I don't think so, sir.... yes, sir. At least two weeks.... no, sir... I will, sir. Thank you, sir."  
Vin looked at Paul as he put the receiver back and grabbed his hat.  
"Let's go."  
"Where to?" Tanner asked, puzzled.  
"Find Buck. In case you haven’t noticed, next week is full moon."  
"Shit!"  
"Indeed."  
Both men left the office and walked through the RCMP station. Outside, Cross opened the doors to his 4x4.  
"Say, Paul, what was that conversation?" Vin asked as they got in.  
"My superior."  
"Hm. And he let you go just like that?"  
Paul looked at Vin, giving him just a lop-sided smirk.  
"Oh."

* * *

Ezra looked up from his laptop, following Chris with his eyes as he wandered  slowly around his apartment. Standish had a good impression of what was on the other man’s mind, watching as Chris looked at things that were standing around, closing his eyes once in a while, or breathing deeply.  
Chris was trying to adjust to the sensations that were flooding his system due to his new abilities. He was trying to sort out different scents, or the new way the surface of a well-known object felt now. Ezra just kept watching, remembering only too well how it had been for him one hundred-twenty years before. The moment Chris stepped in front of the mirror, Ezra inhaled sharply and put the computer aside. He remembered his first look, his very first conscious look into a mirror – and the shock as the monster had looked back. Ezra rose and silently rushed to Chris’s side, providing quiet support. His lover looked at his reflection.  
“Ez …”  
“What is it, Chris?”  
Chris’s eyes were roaming over his own reflection, taking in everything as if he was seeing himself for the first time. Ezra waited. He watched Chris’s inspection, saw him looking on his opening and closing hands, the rising of the chest, the slow pulse of a heartbeat at the neck. And then Chris looked himself into the eyes. Ezra held his breath; this was nearly the most delicate moment.  
Because the vampire was looking back.  
Chris stared at his reflection, looked into his own glowing eyes, without moving, without talking, without nothing. Ezra tried to keep calm, tried not to give anything from the emotional turmoil this was causing in him away. Time seemed to stretch into eternity, and Ezra felt more and more uncomfortable, until he couldn’t stand it any longer.  
“Chris?” he begged softly.  
Larabee just blinked and tilted his head a little.  
“Chris? Say something … please.”  
“Ezra?”  
“Yes?”  
“What do you see?”  
“What I … ?”  
The question struck the smaller vampire. Why did Chris have to ask this, right now …  
“What do you mean?”  
“Do you see a monster, Ezra?”  
“A monster??” God … “Chris, I … no. No, I don’t see a monster.”  
“Neither do I.”  
Chris closed his eyes and leaned back into the smaller frame, and Ezra took the weight. He wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist, gently breathing onto the exposed skin of his neck, taking in the scent he had grown so accustomed to over the past months.  
“See?”  
Chris opened his eyes again, and the inhuman glow was gone. He turned and returned the embrace.  
“I’m alive, Ezra Standish. I’m breathing, my heart beats in my chest and I am warm, able to give love and to receive love. Thanks to you. And so are you, too, lover. If I am no monster, than you aren’t either.”  
“But …”  
“No ‘buts’, Ezra.” Chris murmured and nuzzled at Ezra’s neck, nibbling at the earlobe and placing an affectionate kiss on his parting lips. “No ‘buts’, no ’what ifs’, no regrets. I am here, so are you. Let’s just take one day at a time. “  
Ezra leaned into the embrace, feeling warm and content with just being there, feeling Chris, breathing Chris, touching Chris. Then he remembered something, and he stirred.  
“Uhm, Chris?”  
“Hm?”  
“I think there is something I should tell you.”  
“Oh?”  
“Mrrow?”

*

Chris looked around the former abode of his lover, taking in the amount of destruction. Amount? Complete would be the right definition here. Debris cracked under his feet. He whistled through his teeth at all of this, the entire and utter demolition of a whole townhouse. Nobody would be able to live here until the house was fully restored.  
“God, Ezra, what a mess. What happened here?”  
Ezra cleared his throat. Time to reveal the power his kind could unleash. “Well, … I did.”  
“Come again?”  
“I did this. I …“ Ezra looked around helplessly, as if seeing his former home for the first time. “I have to admit I … uhm, if truth be told, I do not appear to be able to recollect the exact circumstances or the chain of events that must have led to …”  
“Ezra!”  
The sharp tone made Ezra’s head whip up and he looked into a pair of glowing hazel eyes.  
“Don’t hide behind your vocabulary, not with me. Please?”  
Ezra sighed deeply and his shoulders slumped. He gave his lover a small smirk. “I wrecked my home because I was furious?”  
“Better. Why?”  
“Chris, that is of no further importance.”  
“Oh yes, to me it is. Why did you do – this?”  
“Because you were sick, and I was threatened by the loss of you. That was – no, that is a thought I don’t want to live with. I did it once, I will never do it again. And because … well, Buck opened my eyes to an opportunity I didn’t want to face either.”  
“Turning me. That was Buck’s work?”  
Ezra laughed sharply. “In a way. You have a damn good friend in this man, because he was ready to face the monster, Chris.”  
“Meaning?”  
“I almost killed him for asking.”  
Chris looked at Ezra for a whole ten seconds, then glanced at the couch that had been thrown all across the room. He walked over to it and turned it back onto to its feet.  
“Let’s sit down for a while, Ez. Looks as if there are some things I missed, and I really like to know what happened around here during that time.”  
He looked at his lover, noticed the slump shoulders, the tension in the body, the way Ezra was avoiding his gaze again, and held out a hand, both inviting and offering.  
“I won’t judge you, Ezra,” he said softly, “and I don’t condemn you. All I want is to know. Now, what else do I have to do to make you understand that, you stubborn southern fool?”  
Ezra couldn’t help chuckling. “I love you, too, Chris.”  
Then he took the outstretched hand and snuggled against his lover. And just in the middle of wrecked walls and shattered furniture Ezra started to talk.

* * *

Finding a single man in the endless seeming Northwest Territories was almost impossible. Paul had told Vin that if he had to find his man, he would. Mounties had their ways, he had joked. They always got their man – most of the time, anyway. But to find a single man on the North American continent was an impossibility in itself. Buck could disappear and never resurface.  
Cross had tracked the missing chemist all the way from Yellowknife to Hay River, where he had taken another plane to Grande Prairie, and finally to Edmonton. And here they had lost the trail. So far, they had tracked him by passenger lists and Paul’s good relations as a Mountie. Here, in the city of Edmonton, Buck had shaken them.  
Paul walked back from the 24-hour café and handed Vin his sandwich and coffee. It was rather late, since their flight had landed way past midnight  
“Okay, ideas?” he asked, taking a bite.  
Vin looked thoughtfully around the airport waiting area. There were barely any people here and most of the shops were closed. “One. But it would involve one of the guys.”  
Cross shrugged. “Go on.”  
“Buck has to use some kind of identification, credit cards or whatnot to get from here to wherever he’s going. I know someone who could track him. You can’t fake an electronic ID. At least Buck can’t.”  
“Dunne?” Paul inquired.  
“Yep, JD.”  
“How much would you have to tell him? How much would you tell him?” Cross wanted to know.  
Tanner sighed. “Well, depends on his questions. JD’s okay, and I trust him. He’d track Buck down for me, but he’d want to know why.” Vin pulled out his cell phone and grimaced at the ‘low battery’ sign. “You got some juice left in yours?”  
Paul chuckled and handed him his.  
JD picked up after the second ring.  
“JD, it’s Vin…. Yeah… yeah, it was great… lots of snow and endless landscape… uh-huh…. Yep…. Listen, I need a favor…. You need to track someone down for me… no, not a case… no…. no….” Vin smiled briefly. “It’s kinda personal…. Yeah…. Buck…. Yes, my Buck. Our Buck. Buck Wilmington…. He’s gone AWOL and lost Paul and me in Edmonton…. No, it’s not a game. It’s serious.” Vin ran a hand through his short hair. “JD, listen, this has to be confidential. I’m trusting you to keep this to yourself till we found Buck, talked to him, and have come home to Salt Lake… Thanks…”  
And Vin launched into a brief explanation of events. JD was silent at the other end of the line as he listened to him.  
“And that’s why we need to find him,” Vin concluded. “Buck has to use his credit cards or something. He has to cross the border, too… yeah, I think he’s heading somewhere in the States, but I need a general area to play with. Any ideas?”  
When Vin hung up, Paul gave him an expectant look.  
“The kid’s starting a search for his various credit cards and everything else he might find. Says he’ll call me again.”  
“Good. That means we’ll camp out here as long as it takes. More coffee?”  
Tanner smiled. “Yeah. I guess I’ll need it.”  
Neither of the two men wondered about the time of night and that JD was still wide awake. Or that when he called back it was close to six in the morning and he was still very much awake. If asked, Vin would most likely have chalked it up to vacation time and JD being a night owl.

* * *

Yellowstone National Park.  
He should've known it. He and Buck had spent a vacation here once, and, surprisingly for his lover, Buck had been absolutely content with it. It was a logical choice. He had felt safe here and nobody would wonder if seeing a wolf here. At least today. Vin and Buck had learned a lot about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone the last time they had been here. There were at least ten packs in this park.  
But with over 1200 miles of hiking trails and 300 miles of public roads, it would be next to impossible to find the man.  
Paul looked around the visitor center the two men had first driven to after paying for a park pass. Vin had wanted to get a detailed map and go over it, see what might come to mind. Last time he had been here with his lover, they had hiked along several spectacular trails and some of the places they had seen had been pretty remote. They had camped out in the wilderness for five days that time.  
Vin came back from his extended talk with the Park Ranger at the service station. The two men walked out to the rented 4x4. They spread the map on the hood.  
“I think I have an idea where he might have gone,” Vin started. “From what JD pulled out of the computers and from the time we were here, I guess he took this trail here.” He stabbed at a dotted line. “Buck came through the North Entrance, where he paid for the pass. He got gas at Tower-Roosevelt, which we know from his credit card statement as well, and he bought something at Grant Village.”  
“Leaving quite an obvious trail,” the Mountie remarked. “He might try to throw us off.”  
Vin shook his head. “No. Buck’s not at his best right now, Paul. I know how he operates then. He doesn’t actually think about what he’s doing and believe me, he isn’t really trying to hide. He just wants to be alone for a while, think… and go through the change.” Tanner sighed. “He wants to be where he can be sure a wolf wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, somewhere he knows, and that would be here.”  
Another stab.  
“Okay. We’ll have a go at it. You hiked this trail before?”  
A nod. “There is a nice little spot where we put up our tents, right there.” Vin traced the hiking trail to the place. “It has a natural cave, a spring not far away, and it’s rather off the beaten path. Few people hike that trail this time of the year.”  
Paul started to fold the map. “Okay. You drive. Do we have enough food?”  
“We should get a few more steaks and stuff,” the geologist said with a tight smile. “Two more days till full moon.”  
Cross smiled as well. “Good idea.”

* * *

“Okay, this is as far as we can go by car.”  
Vin stopped the vehicle on a small parking lot that was mostly hidden behind small but bushy trees. Paul nodded and got out, already pulling out what they needed for their trek.  
“It’s about five hours on foot to the camp site,” Tanner went on as he checked their gear and finally locked the car. “We can make it before nightfall.”  
Another nod from the Mountie. “Can you feel it?” he asked quietly as they set out.  
“Full moon’s tomorrow,” Vin answered, briefly looking at he afternoon sky. “He’ll go through the change tonight. We… I have to be there, Paul. He needs someone. Me.”  
Cross could only agree.

* * *

Buck crouched in front of the small fire he had made in the little cavern despite the trembling of his hands. He wrapped his arms around himself to ease the shivering, but it didn’t help. He had felt restless and nervous the past few days, Vin’s scrutinizing and worried gaze resting on him, watching his every move, until he hadn’t been able to stand it any longer, and simply run.  
Run away from his lover, a little voice in his mind whispered, calling him a stubborn fool for throwing away all this. Turned his back on maybe the only person that could have been able to help him get through this.  
But he just couldn’t do it.  
Despite the growing pain in his body there was something more, something that had started to grow so many months ago, something dark and ugly that, how ever, had started to consume his soul, eating away everything that was good in his live. It had erased every pleasant emotion, extinguished every glimpse of joy or humor, left only a dark pool of pain behind. Buck had no idea where all of this had come from. The only thing he knew was that he just didn’t want Vin to see it, watch it any longer.  
My god, Vin.  
Buck squeezed his eyes shut at the image of laughing blue eyes, at the memory of two strong yet tender arms wrapped around him, or the sound of a soft drawl whispering words of love and comfort into his ears while making love to him.  
Vin, his lover, the person that meant more to him than anybody else.  
Vin, the man he had simply run away from. Just to come here, of all places, he laughed humorlessly.  
 He had been here once with Vin, and together they had explored this part of the park, and found the cavern. It had been one of the most wonderful vacations in his life. Maybe that had been one of the reasons he had fled here.  
God, he felt so – helpless.  
He never felt helpless.  
Nobody had ever seen him like this, not Vin, not even Chris.  
What would he give to get those images out of his head, just wipe away the picture of a dead Chris Larabee laying there in that bed, held close by a vampire. No, not a vampire, he corrected himself, Ezra. Nevertheless, the way haunted glowing green eyes followed him, accusing and hurt …  
But Chris is alive.  
Oh, really?  
What had Ezra said: Maybe ten years down the road he might be craving death?  
And it would be his fault.  
Another tremor raced through his body, and Buck gazed out of the cave. Under other circumstances he would have enjoyed the view, the wonderful colors of this unique sunset, would have taken Vin into his arms maybe, pulling a blanket around the two of them…  
But not now, not today. Not tonight. Tonight was the night before full moon.  
Out of the corners of his eyes he saw the moon climb over the horizon, and the tremors that wreaked his body became more violent than before, the pain they brought with them were excruciating.  
He wanted this to end. God, would it never end?  
The next shiver made him collapse on the rocky ground, pain overflowing his mind as the muscles and bones started to give up their cohesion with the so well-known stomach turning sounds, and rearranging themselves into another shape.  
Buck’s last conscious thought was that of a warm touch, a blue sparkle in loving eyes, and he screamed the name related to that image.  
“Vin…”

* * *

“Shit!”  
The soft curse rang out over the dark forest and Vin angrily tossed a rock into the bushes. His eyes swept over the surroundings, but he couldn’t make out any movement, either animal or human. Buck was gone. His clothes were still here, as was his stuff, but he was nowhere to be seen.  
The wolf had taken off.  
Paul knelt down by the cooling ashes of the fire. “He’s been gone for a while. Two hours at least.”  
Vin swallowed another curse. “We have to find him, Paul! It’s his first time, he’s alone, confused… he needs us!”  
Cross checked Buck’s backpack with the food and pulled out the ceran-wrapped steaks. He stuffed them into a small bag he had gotten out of his own backpack. He also emptied whatever raw meat they had carried along into the smaller bag, then finally stuffed some of clothes inside. It was a tight fit, but it worked.  
“I think I can track him by smell,” the Mountie finally said. “You probably as well, though he smells differently as a wolf. You’ll get his scent soon.” He unbuttoned his shirt. “We should head out immediately. His trail is fresh, which gives us a better chance of getting to him before something happens.”  
Vin stopped in mid-undress. “Happens? What should happen…?”  
“Vin, think. We’re in the middle of a national park. It has other wolves here, not to mention black and brown bears.”  
The geologist swallowed and finally undid his pants, throwing them into the cave where Buck’s sleeping bag lay. Both men changed smoothly, swiftly, Paul with the special backpack on his back. He pulled the straps tightly around his chest, using his jaws, then they were off.

*

Nobody paid any attention to the large black wolf that was running the hills of Yellowstone National Park. One of the reasons was that nobody was there to pay any attention. But even if there had been someone, wolves weren’t exactly rare in the park. This specimen was large, even for a Timber wolf, and the color wasn’t that ordinary either. The wolf stopped, sniffed the air, and continued his run after a short hesitation. One would have thought he might have noticed the huge brown bear that was snuffling through some bushes, looking for food; or realized the immediate danger he was running into, because it was spring and the bear had just finished its hibernation, and therefore it was hungry and highly irritable. Much likely it wouldn’t take a wolf crossing its path nicely.  
Neither animal noticed the two wolves coming up the path from the other side of the hill. One of them was wearing a backpack.

* * *

“Are you sure about this?”  
It was a simple question, but one Chris needed an answer to. He looked at his lover as Ezra returned his gaze, no doubt in his eyes.  
“Yes.”  
And no doubt in his voice.  
“If you want to, that is.”  
Chris stared. “Ezra… that is…”  
“It’s not an obligation,” the older vampire went on. “But an option. I never saw the new place as my home. It was an intermediate arrangement and I had every intention of moving the moment I had an inkling as to what our future together might be and… when I had a place more to my liking.”  
Larabee found himself nodding. Our future together. The three words made his stomach curl in anticipation. But of what? He loved Ezra. With everything he had. Standish had gone through hell and back for him, had given him the ultimate gift while paying a very high price for it. A price Chris didn’t know he would have approved of if he had known beforehand. But he hadn’t had a real say in things.  
“Sounds great,” he finally said, a warm smile on his lips. “Especially the ‘together’ part.”  
Ezra’s eyes lit up and he smiled as well.  
“So, where did you have in mind?”  
“Well, I figured it has to be a bit bigger than both our places. After seeing Buck and Vin’s arrangement, I believe I found the perfect spot. It’s a bit outside the immediate city area. I’d like to show it to you.”  
Chris shrugged. “Okay. Surprise me.”

It was more than a surprise. It came more along the lines of a good old shock. Something that had Chris’s mouth hanging open, his eyes going wide, and his mind insisting that Ezra couldn’t be serious. But from the expression in his lover’s face, he was. Dead serious. This was it.  
“That’s… huge,” Larabee managed.  
It was an understatement. The house was two stories tall, clearly out of Victorian times, and it had recently been renovated. There was still some scaffolding around one corner where the turret reached into the evening sky. The grounds around the house stretched as far as the eye could see. Ancient trees dotted the sloping landscape, protecting the mansion from prying eyes. The street itself was a dead end, with this house at the far end. It was imposing, but still charming. Not threatening in any way. It wasn’t like some kind of Poltergeist haunted house kids would avoid and people talked about.  
“I had intended to rent it out to people, maybe even make a hotel out of it,” Ezra told him as they walked up to the wood and stone building. “Outside renovations are about to be completed and I still have to decide what to do about the inside.” He gave Chris a bright smile.  
Larabee chuckled. The inside of the house was even more impressive than the outside. The entrance hall stretched up, with a gallery running around the second floor. The large staircase split into two after a few steps, sweeping up left and right to the upper floor.  
“There are four separate apartments altogether,” Ezra explained. “Two down here, two upstairs. We have a small attic and a basement that can be used for storage as well as living arrangements.”  
“Small attic,” Chris muttered. “Looking at this, I would probably get lost up there.”  
Ezra smiled. “Probably.”  
“Who else is gonna live here?”  
Standish’s brow furrowed in thought. “Who else? Just us, Chris. Why?”  
“Four apartments?”  
A shrug. “We can see what to do about the upper floors later on. They would be unsuitable for vampires anyway.”  
Chris followed his lover into the first ground floor apartment and was struck by the sheer spaciousness. Everything was empty, smelled of wood and stone, but he could see what it might look like after some more renovations. There was a huge sliding door leading out to a stone terrace that overlooked the yard. Well, the garden… the forest. Whatever. Above the terrace was a balcony that belonged to the upper floor apartments.  
“I like it,” he told Ezra, pulling the older vampire into his arms.  
“Really?”  
He kissed him gently. “Really. I think it’ll be just perfect.”  
“Pick which one you like and we can get renovating,” Ezra replied, eyes bright with happiness.  
“I’d like to have the one with you in it.”  
Ezra’s arms tightened around him and Chris tilted his head to kiss him. When they finally separated, both men were breathing hard.  
“Shouldn’t we wait until we have a bed to celebrate?” Larabee murmured.  
“Beds are highly overrated,” was the whispered reply and Ezra nibbled along the column of his throat.  
“Right…” was all Chris managed, then he gave in to the burning need inside him.  
His new and oversensitive vampire system might even out one day, get used to the thrill of Ezra in his arms, his touch, his presence, but he’d be damned if he let an opportunity like this get by.

* * *

Vin didn’t actually flick his tail in relief when he realized that the scent of Buck was becoming stronger, indicating his lover was almost in reach. God, after that much hunting and looking, they had finally found him. A yipping sound from Paul told him that the older wolf had come to the same conclusion. Vin stopped in mid-step when a strong, strange and sharp scent tingled at his nose. A scent he didn’t actually recognize because he had never smelled something like it, but a part of him identified it clearly as danger. Identified? he mused. No not really. Every instinct screamed at him to avoid the source of that scent, at all costs, especially at his time of year. Paul growled at his side, having gotten a whiff of it as well. But the body language of the other wolf told Vin that not only had Paul the same instincts, but most certainly some more personal encounters with whatever danger there was.  
A deep, furious roar, followed by a surprised yelp made the hair on Vin’s neck stand up. Literally. He shot a brief glance toward the other wolf, and saw Paul bare his teeth and lay back the ears, determination on the canine features.  
Another roar, even more furious. Whatever was happening on the other side of the hill, it included Buck. And Vin had every intention to find out. No further communication necessary, the two wolves took up speed.  
Only to stop dead in their tracks at the sight that greeted them.  
A large brown bear was standing on its back paws, growling and roaring at a black wolf that cowered in front of it, looking up at the immediate, life-threatening danger – and showing no signs of running or even defending itself.  
Vin didn’t need to sniff the air to know what he was witnessing. Obviously his lover’s change had been complete. But he had no idea if it had gone smoothly or not; Vin assumed it hadn’t. For whatever reasons, Buck had decided to run into a bear that was really hungry and on the search for his breakfast afterwards. Unfortunately, the bear wasn’t happy about it, lifting a paw at his stunned lover.  
Vin wanted to yell at Buck to start running.  
He wanted to run forward and protect his lover.  
He wanted to challenge the bear and draw him away from the apparently frozen werewolf.  
But he didn’t do any such thing.  
It all happened too fast.  
Vin winced as he heard the sickening sound of soft flesh and bones hitting hard rock as the wolf's body was thrown through the air by the paw's force. The black wolf yelped once, then lay still. The bear got back on its paws, sniffed the air, and noticed the arrival of two more intruders. It seemed to decide there was nothing more here for him and slowly padded away.  
Vin was at the wolf's side in no time, changing back into his human form without even thinking twice. He didn't care about anything other than his lover's condition. Carefully, his hands wandered through the thick, dark fur, over the unmoving body, testing and probing, and he sighed in relief as he found no broken bones. Well, none he could feel. Be thankful for little things.  
When Vin pulled his hand away, he swallowed hard because of he red sticky fluid covering it. The scent of blood was a sharp contrast to the smell of the forest around him. Buck was hurt more badly than he had thought. Vin hadn’t been able to see the wounds in the first place due to the color of he fur.  
Shit!  
"Let's get him to the camp. We can take a closer look there." Paul appeared in front of him, nude to the waist, and handed him pants and shirt. Vin nodded and swallowed hard. He pulled on his clothes and then crouched down beside his lover, again running his hand over the fur.  
“We’ll get you out of here, Buck,” he murmured comfortingly.  
Without further comment, Paul pulled out some clean bandages from the backpack and wordlessly handed them to Tanner. He cleaned the three long scratches his lover’s left side and then bandaged them as best as he could.  
“Looks okay,” Cross commented when Vin was done. “He’ll do the rest.”  
The geologist picked up the unconscious animal and staggered once under the weight. Paul shot him a questioning look.  
“I’m fine. Let’s go.”  
With that they started the trek back to the camp.

* * *

It took them a while. Actually, twice as long as it had taken to find Buck. The injured wolf in his arms was heavy and Vin had to rest at intervals. He refused to hand the unconscious animal over to Paul, but finally the Mountie told him in no uncertain terms that if he expected to get back before the turn of the century, they had to switch now and again. So they had.  
Buck regained consciousness on the last leg of their journey. After a brief panic, he had slumped again, too exhausted and in too much pain to do much more than suffer through it all.  
It was very close to nightfall when they arrived back at the camp site and Paul immediately collected some wood to get a fire going.  
“Vin, change,” Cross said softly as Tanner fussed over the almost apathic wolf, checking the bandages. “I can hold it back for a while, you can’t.” He opened his backpack and threw the ceran-wrapped steaks at him. “And give him something to eat.”  
Vin only nodded and did as ordered. Buck didn’t react to his lover’s change other than just flick an ear. Vin padded over to the prone wolf and pushed his muzzle against his head, whining. When the new werewolf didn’t react, Vin gave a snort and ate part of the steaks, dragging the rest over to his lover. He rumbled when Buck didn’t move, which had at least some effect. Another rumbled growl made the black wolf chew listlessly on the steaks, then swallow a large part of his share. Vin growled in appreciation, then lay down next to him, nuzzling close.  
Buck whined softly, large eyes settling on the gray wolf. Vin made soft, reassuring noises, staying where he was. He didn’t move the whole night. Paul, changed into his wolf form as well by now, frequently scouted the area. Nothing disturbed them, nothing threatening was around them for miles.

* * *

Early morning brought with it the smooth change of two werewolves into humans, while the third wolf lay close to the mouth of the cave, soulful eyes gazing at the man now dressed in pants and a t-shirt. Vin Tanner turned to look at his still canine lover. He knew Buck wouldn’t be able to go through a transformation until tomorrow morning.  
“I’ll get breakfast,” Paul only said and set out to the small freshwater stream with a bottle and the coffee pot.  
“’kay.”  
Vin slipped on his jacket and boots as the morning chill made him shiver. Then he crouched down next to the black wolf.  
“Buck?”  
The werewolf looked away. He didn’t move physically, still too bruised and battered to do much, but he gave the perception of running anyway. Vin grabbed the black fur and turned the wolf's head toward himself, looking deep into the haunted eyes.  
"Buck, you fool. You knew I would follow you."  
The wolf just winced and struggled a little to get away.  
"No, you'll listen for once. This was a damn stupid idea. That grouchy ole teddy bear almost got you. Get it, Buck! You could have died! And then what? Do you think I want to be without you?"  
He let go of the wolf's head, and the animal let it sink to the ground, watching Vin out of sad and confused eyes, wincing again.  
"We better discuss this when you are more talkative."  
Vin stretched out a hand and rested it on the wolf's neck, stroking the fur gently, as he sat down at the animal's side. Paul came back a few minutes later, smiling briefly a the almost harmonious picture. Breakfast was served not much later in form of toast, bacon and coffee.  
“Think we can travel some way today?” Cross asked as he washed down the rest of his toast with coffee.  
“Buck?” Vin questioned his lover.  
The wolf whined and got to his paws. It was a shaky stand, but he was up on all four legs. He licked over Vin’s face once, whining more. The geologist ruffled the thick neck fur.  
“I guess that’s an affirmative.”  
“I’ll go and wash the dishes, you do the backpacks,” Paul said. “We’ll take it slow.”

And it was slow going. The five hour hike back turned into a whole day’s worth of walking. While Paul figured the car was only another two more hours away, he also decided that Buck had had enough walking for one day. The wolf was exhausted and still in pain. They made up camp in a small clearing.  
“Just one more night,” Vin murmured reassuringly after Buck had devoured his food and was resting with his head in Vin’s lap.  
A soft whine.  
“And then we’ll talk. All of us.” Blue eyes met those of the Mountie across the fire.  
Cross nodded once. He would be there for the wolf talk. Everything else would be up to Vin.

*

Buck’s change back into human form was no less stressful or agonizing than it had been for Vin the very first time. Maybe even more because Vin hadn’t been injured back then. He valiantly tried to hold back the screams, but they tore from his throat unbidden and echoed in the waking forest. Thankfully, there was no one around to hear them.  
This time, Vin was the watcher and he swallowed heavily as he witnessed his lover’s transformation, saw the muscles stretch over human limbs, the bones adjust with a sick creaking and cracking, the joints roll back into their original positions. The long cuts from the bear’s paw stood out a deep, dark and angry red against Buck’s paler skin, but they weren’t bleeding again, for which Vin was thankful. Actually, they looked like they had healed a great deal.  
Finally, Buck lay on the soft ground, panting, eyes screwed shut, chest heaving. His body was covered in sweat and he was trembling badly. Hands were clawed into the ground and muscles were still spasming.  
Vin covered his lover with a blanket and ran a gentle hand over the dark hair. Tired, dark eyes cracked open and gazed at him. Vin smiled, caressing one slightly stubbled cheek.  
“Hey,” he whispered. “Welcome back.”  
Buck managed a weak smile, then his eyes slid shut again. A moan escaped his lips.  
“Everything’s going to be all right,” Vin murmured, settling down beside him, never stopping his caress. “I’m here. You’ll be just fine…”

* * *

Chris enjoyed laying on the couch without feeling sick or being fussed over with blankets and chicken soup. It was nice for a change to just lay there and enjoy a good book. He had turned the next page when a small weight landed on his stomach. Chris lifted the book and looked right into the two wide, green eyes of one of Shawn’s offsprings. The little silver tabby, to be precise. She looked at him intently and sniffed the air.  
“Well, hello to you too, little one,” Chris said softly, stretching out a hand to scratch the kitten behind the ear.  
She continued to stare at him, until finally she must have come to a decision, because she folded her legs under her belly and started to purr like a little lawnmower, eyes half closed, ears pricked, looking very relaxed. After a while, Chris stopped scratching and returned to the book.  
Bad idea, he noticed only a second later when he felt little claws puncturing his skin through the thin fabric of the shirt, accompanied by a very insisting purring.  
“Ouch.”  
He reached down and unhooked the little kitten from his shirt, putting her down on the floor.  
“Little one, I love you too, but don’t you dare try that again, you hear me?”  
 Unfortunately, she either didn’t hear him or, more likely, decided to ignore him, as the returning weight on his stomach told him. The kitten butted her head against his hand and started to paw on his stomach.  
“All right, little one, enough is enough.” Chris put the kitten back on the floor and rose, heading toward the kitchen with the intention of getting himself something to drink. He didn’t get far.  
“Mwew!”  
This time the weight was hanging on to his pants, as the kitten made her way up his legs.  
“Oh no, you don’t.”  
Chris caught the tabby before she could reach a more sensitive area of his anatomy. Not that her tiny claws could have done any harm through the thick fabric of the jeans. Just the mere thought of having a kitten hanging there …  
“Shouldn’t you go play with your siblings?”  
“Mwew,” she begged to differ.  
“A-ha. Now, do it anyway.”  
This time she chose the other leg.  
Chris picked the annoying little tabby up, looking into her intense green eyes.  
“What am I supposed to do with you?” he sighed.  
“Mwew?” she suggested and started to clean her fur, still resting on the palm of his hand.  
“Ah, entertaining the kitten?” came an amused voice from behind.  
“More along the lines of being annoyed by her. The little pest here decided to use me as her private playground.”  
“Yes, sometimes they do that,” Ezra chuckled, stepping closer.  
“Okay, kitty, now go and play with someone else, will you?”  
Chris tried to get rid of the kitten, but the moment she touched the ground, she gave an irritated “mwrr’ and made a crash dive toward his legs.  
“My, was Shawn that difficult, too?”  
“Actually, she was,” Ezra said slowly, looking at the man and the kitten with a thoughtful expression on his face.  
“Shawn?” he called out softly.  
Surprisingly, the black familiar appeared almost immediately, hopping onto the kitchen counter with a questioning “Mroww?”  
“That the one?”  
Shawn tilted her head, sniffed at her daughter and at Chris.  
“Mrowt,” she agreed and jumped back to the floor, tail twisted like a question mark. Chris looked after her, puzzled and frowning.  
“Now, isn’t that the ‘mission accomplished’ tail?”  
“Yep. Good to see you’re getting accustomed to familiar body language.”  
“Why’s that?”  
“May I introduce?” Ezra pointed toward the kitten which had worked her way under Chris’s shirt in the meantime and was comfortably resting against his chest. Comfortably for her at last.  
“Your new familiar.”  
 “Uh … ex-cuse me?”  
“How are you going to name her?”  
“Name her?”  
“Mweeew?”  
Obviously, this was something that found the kitten’s interest as well, they noticed, as she climbed out of her warm nest, looking expectantly at her new owner.  
“Uhm, Ez, I don’t intend to …”  
“Mew!”  
Standish chuckled again at the firm exclamation. Yes, this little one definitely had a mind of her own, and enough will power to face one Chris Larabee.  
“Chris, “ he muttered softly, ”your intentions don’t count when it comes to familiars. She chose you, you are hers. Get used to it.”  
“Familiar, hm?”  
“Mwew.”  
“And now you want to be named?” Chris asked the fuzzy gray ball.  
“Mwew!”  
“Hm.”  
Larabee looked at the little striped familiar, and she looked back, waiting.  
“Let me guess, you don’t really approve of Kitty, right?”  
“Mweeeew,” was the indignant reply.  
“Thought as much. All right … Cassiopeia.”  
The kitten tilted her head from right to left, as if thinking the whole thing over.  
“Mwew,” she finally agreed and started another fur cleaning session.  
“Cassy it is then.”  
Ezra leaned back, smiling. Cassiopeia, hm?

* * *

Vin woke up from the feeling that something was amiss. He looked around and noticed that Buck wasn't there. He sighed at that. They had decided to stay another day at the camp site, to not return to the car, and had talked. Paul had given them the necessary privacy by just heading out into the forest around them.  
But somehow Buck was still - still. Not his usual boisterous self. Not that Vin expected him to be, not that soon. He would need time to fix his concept of the world -- again.  
Vin crawled out of the tent and looked for his lover. He found Buck sitting on a blanket under a large tree, looking up into the starry sky.  
"Hey." He carefully approached the other man, sitting down behind him.  
The wounds, the visible ones, were healing perfectly. Aside from the vivid bruising, the only other left-overs from the attack were the angry red stripes over Buck’s ribcage. Paul suspected that they would be gone by the end of the week, but scars might remain.  
"Hey."  
"Ribs still hurting?"  
"Naw, not much."  
"Good. Had difficulties sleepin' ?"  
"Hm."  
Vin waited, but Buck didn't continue. "Talk to me, Buck," he finally pleaded softly.  
"What about?"  
"What's bothering you? Look, I'm really sorry for turning you into a werewolf, but I wasn't actually… conscious that time."  
"I know. Not your fault, Vin," Buck told him.  
"Then what is it?"  
Vin watched his lover closely, seeing the tension in the body, the clenched hands, the way he was avoiding his gaze.  
"Buck... please?"  
Wilmington inhaled deeply. "I wish I knew, Vin. I have no idea what's wrong. I just feel so... confused? So many things changed, so many things I try to adjust myself to, wrap my mind around, and still... I have the feeling every time I got a grip on things, they change."  
"Living means change, Buck. "  
"Yeah, I know. It's just... what is stable? I know we had that conversation before, but..."  
"Unfortunately things changed again, hm?" Vin murmured.  
"Something like that, yes. I don't know if I can get accustomed to being a werewolf. It hurts like hell." Buck rubbed his hands together in a nervous gesture.  
"I know. Been there, remember? But you have an advantage." Vin smiled.  
"Which is?"  
"You have me."  
"Uhm-hm."  
Vin blinked at the uncertainty in his lover's voice. Suddenly it dawned. Vin wrapped his arms around the other man. "Do you know I still have the letter?" he whispered into one ear.  
"Which letter?"  
"The letter you wrote me, five years ago."  
Buck rubbed a hand over his face. "Uhm, you know I didn't, right? It was Chris."  
"Yeah, I know. But Chris is your oldest friend, he knows you better than anyone else. Maybe except of me. I think he tried to find words you would have chosen yourself, and that's why I kept it."  
"Oh."  
"You and Chris, you've known each other for - what? Twenty years now?"  
A nod.  
"And thanks to Ezra, there are many more to come. And thanks to Ezra we will live to see them. You realize that without him, Chris would have died? I might have died myself?" Vin asked.  
Buck tensed in his arms, and Vin slowly stroked the other man's chest. The geologist didn't want to say such things. He knew that this wasn't exactly what Buck wanted to hear - but maybe it was what he needed to hear. Buck slowly reached up and took Vin's hands into his own.  
"Yeah, I know. Me, too," he whispered.  
Vin briefly tightened his hold. "See? But we haven't, and I, for my part, don't intend to leave you, Buck Wilmington. Get that into that thick head of yours. We are alive. That's what's stable around you. Me. And I love you. That's another stable thing. After five years, I still love you, and I intend to do so the next fifty. Now, did you finally get that?"  
Buck turned to face him. "Show me."  
"Huh?"  
"Show me. I need to feel something else than death, to think about something else than death. I need to feel you, Vin, right now, warm and alive. Make love to me," he pleaded.  
Vin looked into his lover's eyes, saw the sincerity and the need in them. Nevertheless he had to chuckle. They had never done it under the stars.  
"Here and now? What about Paul?" he teased.  
"Hell, the man's a mature adult, he knows about the facts of life."  
With that Buck wrapped his arms around Vin and pulled him close, let them slide down on the blanket.  
And the stars twinkled.

* * *

They decided to drive back to Salt Lake, instead of taking a commercial flight. It would be faster to just take the rental home and drop it off. Driving time altogether would be a lot less than driving to Butte airport, catch a plane and then drive back from Salt Lake airport. Buck was very quiet as the three men parted company.  
“Call me if necessary,” Paul said quietly as Vin put their bags into the Ford. “Buck knows the basics. Every werewolf does. It’s instinct. He can’t fight it, so while he can be stubborn, it won’t help much.”  
The Mountie smiled wryly and Vin chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Been there.”  
“You have my number and I think I can safely say that I’ll be in Salt Lake as quickly as possible, Vin. Just get him to take it easy now, go through the same routines I went through with you, and you should be fine. And give my best to Chris and Ezra, will you?”  
“Yep, you got it. And, Paul… thanks… for everything.”  
Cross smiled brightly. “Hey, what are friends for?”  
Vin met the gaze seriously. “You’ve been a lot more than just a friend, Paul. You’ve done a lot more.”  
The Canadian grew serious. “I’ve never known many of my kind, my friend. The last time I met a wolf, there was still a Cold War going on. You were special already, Vin. You had friends… a family to stand by your side. Buck is special now, too.”  
The geologist nodded slowly. “Thanks,” he repeated. “Take care.”  
“You, too.”

They arrived back home late that day. Vin decided to keep the car till the next morning. He was too tired to drop it off and take a cab home. So they just lugged their bags into the apartments.  
Buck was still silent, but he seemed to be more at ease in these familiar surroundings. Vin slipped his arms around him and placed a gentle kiss against the strong jaw.  
“Whatcha say to a nice, long shower, then maybe a good movie and some pizza, hm?” he murmured against the stubbly skin.  
Buck’s arms tightened around him. “Sounds just great,” was the equally soft reply.  
Vin smiled. The world and all its problems could wait another day. They would face it tomorrow.

* * *

It was just after sundown, the perfect time to go and visit a pair of vampires. Nearly ten days had passed since Vin and Buck had flown off to the Territories. And it was a week now that Buck as a werewolf. Both men had slept in today and Vin had been rather pleased to note that Buck hadn’t had any nightmares. He had been with him in the morning, draped close, and Vin had simply watched him. There were still signs of stress in the sleep-relaxed face and Vin vowed he’d do everything humanly possible to get Buck through this. If his lover needed anything, he’d be there for him. But for now, all he could do was wait, offer his presence, and wait some more.  
They passed the day unpacking, washing, going through the mail, and long periods were spent just being with each other. Buck was still rather silent, but it was a contemplative one.  
So now they stood in front of Chris’s apartment, Buck looking like he was about to bolt, and Vin’s hand was resting on his lover’s back, reassuring and comforting.  
It was Ezra who opened the door and he smiled at the two men, though there was a flicker of something else in his eyes as he looked at Buck. Vin couldn’t be sure. He thought he saw a frown on the smooth forehead, but it was gone faster than the blink of an eye. Tanner knew vampires could recognize other ‘paranormals’. He had seen the reaction of the clientele at the Grotto whenever he was there. They knew he wasn’t human and they left him alone.  
Could Ezra tell what had changed in Buck?  
“Hey,” the vampire greeted them. “Back already, hm?”  
Vin shrugged as they walked inside. “We only have two weeks off. Ten days were enough. How’re you and Chris?”  
“Just fine,” Chris answered, smiling at them.  
“Mwrrr!”  
A black cat wove around Buck’s legs and he automatically smiled, crouching down briefly to pet the familiar. “Hey, kitty.”  
“Mew!” a lighter feline call came and a gray-and-white tabby appeared next to the larger cat.  
“Hey, who are you?” Vin chuckled. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”  
“Vin, Buck… this is Cassy. Short for Cassiopeia. My familiar,” Chris introduced the small kitten, not without a hint of pride.  
“So you are it, hm?” Buck scratched the kitten’s head. “How are the others?”  
“Just fine. All healthy, all growing,” Ezra answered.  
They walked over to the couch and everyone sat down. It was as if that had been the sign for two more kittens to emerge from hiding. One was a tri-color, white, black and orange-red. The other was red. The tri-colored one scampered to Buck, meowing a greeting and sniffing at the large human. Wilmington chuckled.  
“You, I know as well. You have grown.” He scooped the kitten up.  
“How was your vacation?” Chris wanted to know.  
There was a brief hesitation and Buck straightened, drawing a disappointed mewling sound from the kitten. “It was great…” Vin started.  
“But?”  
Buck leaned forward until his elbows were resting on his knees, and his head hung slightly between his shoulders.  
“There was an accident,” he supplied.  
Both vampires exchanged alarmed looks and Chris visually checked his two friends. There was no outside damage, but there could be bandages underneath those clothes that neither could see.  
“What happened?” he wanted to know.  
Buck shot Vin a despairing as well as pleading look. Clearly it was up to Tanner to relate the tale. Ezra placed two sodas in front of the men and Buck quickly took a swallow. The red kitten was inspecting Vin’s shoes at the moment, batting at her sisters to keep them away from her interesting new plaything. A fourth, blackish gray kitten had joined them.  
“We had a great time, actually,” Vin started. “Paul had made arrangements for a huge cabin and it was right in the middle of nowhere. Not a soul around for miles. Wolf heaven.” He grinned briefly. “Spent a lot of time outdoors. Mostly as a wolf.” Another grin, but that one faded even faster. “I didn’t count on hunters, though. Got myself caught in a wolf trap.”  
Chris opened his mouth to say something, but Ezra briefly touched his shoulder from where he stood behind the chair. Not yet. Let him talk.  
“Buck got me out. Was an old trap, so it didn’t separate my leg. It was still bad. Damn painful.” Vin unconsciously rubbed over his right forearm and Buck put a hand on one knee, squeezing it. “Paul helped us explain it to the doctors when they patched me up. Made up a good story about a wolf being trapped and us helping it. Told me I was damn lucky. Could have been worse.” Tanner inhaled shakily. “I healed pretty quickly. Nothing left but a few scars now…”  
Chris nodded slowly. There was still an expectant look in his eyes. From his expression, he knew Vin hadn’t told them everything yet.  
“When I was trapped… I was the wolf,” the geologist went on. “I only felt the pain and wanted to run away from it. I wasn’t thinking clearly any more. I was an animal. Survival was all I could think of.”  
“Pain will do that to you,” Ezra said softly. Experience talking.  
Vin met the green gaze and saw the understanding, the compassion, and he swallowed.  
“I did something then… I… bit Buck.”  
There. It was out now. The truth. Three words that would tell the two vampires everything else. No lengthy explanation necessary.  
“You what?!” Chris suddenly exclaimed, his voice shattering the silence that had fallen.  
Cassy made a protesting sound, giving a good impression of glaring at him. She clearly didn’t approve of him yelling like that.  
Larabee’s eyes darted back and forth between Vin and Buck. Tanner had his head ducked as if he was expecting some kind of physical violence, and Buck’s hand was still on his knee, his eyes blazing with protective instinct.  
“It wasn’t his fault!” Wilmington snarled defensively. “He didn’t know what he was doing. It was an accident, Chris!”  
“Aw, hell…” Larabee breathed.  
“I wouldn’t have done it if I had known,” Vin murmured. “I just didn’t think very clearly.”  
“I’m not saying it’s your fault, Vin,” Chris supplied quickly. “It’s… it’s just a… surprise…”  
“I think you meant ‘shock’,” Vin corrected him, looking up with a faint smile.  
“Yeah, that too.”  
Ezra was silent as he studied Buck. “Full moon was a week ago,” he said quietly.  
Both men nodded. Chris raked a hand through his hair. Finally he looked up and met the dark gaze of his best friend.  
“You okay?” he asked quietly.  
Vin could hear the full question in those two words. Chris knew Buck, had known him for twenty years now. He had known why the two men had flown up into the wilderness, and now that had happened, on top of everything else. When it rains, it pours.  
Buck held the hazel eyes. “Yeah,” he answered softly. “For now.”  
Nothing else needed to be said. Vin and Buck had decided to keep the events following up on the bite between them for now. JD knew, but he had promised not to say anything. Chris would be told when Buck was ready to go down that path again, when he could openly deal with the memories of his actions.  
Ezra met Vin’s eyes and nodded almost imperceptibly. The vampire had seen it, too. He knew there was a gap in the tale and that gap would remain for a while, maybe even longer than that. He accepted it. It was a private matter between the two lovers.  
Ezra looked from one man to the other, frowning at their expectant gazes. "What?"  
"You do realize," Chris coughed, "that we have a boss who might be pleased if he was informed about minor changes in his employee's, uh - status?"  
"So?"  
"Weeell, who would be better suited for that job?"  
"Hm... his employees?"  
"Aw, Ez," Buck grinned, "where would be the fun in that?"  
Ezra looked. Ezra smirked. And then Ezra grinned, grabbed the phone and dialed a number.  
"Hi, Orrin... yeees, it's me... no, why?... What makes you think that?... Why? Can't I just give an old friend a call?... Orrin... Orrin... okay. In an hour, Chris's place; you know the way."  
Ezra put the receiver back and looked into three pairs of questioning eyes.  
"Okay, he’ll be here in an hour. And Buck? You pay for the Brandy. This is getting expensive, you know."

* * *

Buck stood in front of the former warehouse that had been poorly restored and then turned into an apartment complex. JD lived here and he had told his friends in no uncertain terms every time they had asked, that he liked it here and that he didn't see the need to move somewhere else. There was more than enough space in his two-room-apartment and he had  Internet access. What else would one look for? Besides, most of his time he spent at the office anyway. Buck sighed at that. The kid shouldn't really spend his whole time in front of a screen. Life had so much more to offer. As he had found out painfully recently.  
Buck rang the doorbell and waited, knowing all too well that he would most likely find JD in front of his computer again.  
When the door opened, JD blinked owlishly at his visitor. Yep, he had been staring into his monitor again.  
“Buck?”  
"Hey, kid. Thought I’d drop by, look what yer up to. Maybe we could have a drink or two?"  
"We?" JD echoed, looking a bit perplexed.  
"Hell, that's not that out of the ordinary."  
"Nope. That's not what I meant. You'n me, all alone?"  
Buck nodded. "Sure. Problem?"  
"No problem. Grotto?"  
Wilmington shook his head. "Ahm, rather not. What about Nettie's? Haven't been there lately."  
Dunne shrugged. "Fine with me. Let me get my jacket."  
They were on their way a few minutes later.

*

Nettie’s was, as usual, crowded, but there was still a table in the back corner. Buck secured them a bowl of peanuts and chips, then ordered a beer for himself. JD only wanted a coke. When they had their drinks, Buck looked up from his beer and met JD's gaze. The kid was watching him, waiting for whatever he would have to say.  
Wilmington noticed the washed-out color of the skin, the shadows under the eyes, and guilt hit him full force. They had been through a lot of shit, every single one of them, but the young hacker had been the one to keep the whole enchilada together. He remembered that they had noticed that little fact weeks ago, but none had apparently said something, let alone taken some weight off the kid's shoulders.  
No, not a kid anymore. JD might be young, but he had aged beyond his years during these awful months. One day the young man would make one hell of a leader. And, a part of his mind reminded him, thanks to him Buck would be there to watch.  
"JD," Buck began, playing with some droplets of water that were running down his glass, "I understand you helped Vin find me. I - uh, well..."  
"Hey Buck, no big deal," JD interrupted his babbling.  
"No. No, JD, it is a big deal. From the looks of you, I'd say you didn't get that much sleep lately, right?"  
JD smirked. "Hey, you know me. Give me something and I hang on to it like a dog to a bone. I'm just glad you're home and well again."  
Buck looked at the young man, awed. JD really meant what he had just said, that he didn't realize what was happening to him and was just concerned about his friend's well being. No, it wasn't naïveté, it was just - JD.  
"JD, Vin told you about me - running away, right?"  
"Hm, had to. So what? I would've done the same in your position. Doesn't matter, you're back, you're fine. You ARE fine, right?" Buck saw the worry bloom in the kid's eyes. "You're not going to tell me you are... you know... "  
Understanding hit Buck.  
"No! No, I'm fine, really. Apart from being a werewolf now, that is. And me being fine is something I have to thank you for, JD. If Vin wouldn't have been able to find me..."  
JD shrugged it off again. "Hey, but he did. There is nothing wrong with you, apart from being a werewolf. I don't really consider that 'wrong', you know." The hacker grinned, eyes twinkling. "Now you'll be able to - ah, catch up on him."  
"What??  Catch up on him? Hell, kid, I ain't THAT old."  
"Not yet..."  
"JD...,” Buck warned. “Don't try to distract me while I'm trying to thank you here."  
"No big deal."  
Buck sighed inwardly. The kid was a real match for him when it came to stubbornness. Nevertheless, the events of the past months had apparently changed every member of the team, and he, for his part, was looking with new eyes at their youngest member. Everything that had happened had shown them some new facets of JD Dunne they hadn't known yet. Or just ignored?  
"JD?" he said softly after a brief pause.  
"Hm?"  
"Thanks. You're doin'  a great job, you know that? We tend to forget about that every now and then, 'specially when the going gets tough."  
"Buck,” JD interrupted him firmly. “As I said, 's okay. Nice to know one's being appreciated, but hey, that's what friends are for, right?"  
And the young man was one hell of a friend, Buck mused.  
"Yeah. Right," he said slowly, as a thought occurred to him.  
Everyone had known how the others had spent their unexpected vacation. Where had JD been?  
* * *

“Damn,” Buck muttered and brushed ineffectively at his dark shirt. “Hair!”  
“It’s fine, Buck,” Vin sighed and slapped his hand away. “You look just great, so stop fussing. It’s not like we’re going to some kind of premiere event. It’s just a simple gallery opening.”  
Buck glowered at him. “To which you could at least have worn something other than your Indiana Jones outfit.”  
“Ah hell, forgot the hat!” Vin groaned theatrically and made moves to jog back to the car.  
Buck grabbed him and Tanner laughed. Unlike Buck, who was wearing a dark shirt and suit pants, but had refused a tie or jacket, Vin had opted for a dark gray turtle neck and a pair of brand new jeans. A black leather jacket had been added and he thought it was fashionable enough.  
Ezra had brought up the opening of the small gallery just off the main shopping strips last night when he and Buck had been over again, playing with the cats, raiding the fridge, and just having a good time watching a game of hockey. While Buck had been reluctant to go, Vin had more or less kicked him into it. It would do his lover some good to get out and unwind before they had to be back on Monday.  
So here they were, just outside the gallery where a crowd of people was already waiting. Among them were Chris and Ezra. Chris was dressed up in his trademark black shirt and pants, while Ezra had chosen a simple dark suit.  
“Hey,” Chris greeted them. “You made it just on time.”  
“No thanks to junior shedding all over the place here,” Buck groused good-naturedly.  
“I do not shed,” Vin shot back.  
Ezra chuckled and led them through the crowd, presenting four tickets to the man in front of the entrance. They were allowed to enter.  
The gallery as such stretched over three floors, two of them wide open and visible from the first. Stairs led to art work hanging on the walls further up and people were already strolling around the walkways, looking at pictures, sculptures and photographs. The ground floor was separated into small alcoves, private little sections, each showing a different photographer’s work.  
The four men accepted glasses of Champaign and made their way around the room. Vin was fascinated by the life-like paintings of one particular painter, studying the landscapes with awe. It appeared like a picture taken out of nature herself. It was incredibly vivid.  
As they walked into the next separated section, Buck suddenly stiffened. His eyes grew wide as they fell on the artfully displayed black and white photographies. All of them showed landscapes. Deserts, mountains, canyons. Among them were moments of time, studies of human beings in harmony with nature, horses running across an untamed wilderness. Shadows and light played together to create a magic that was breath-taking and simple in one.  
One of the images drew Vin’s gaze. It was of a man, dressed only in jeans, sitting on an old chair, feet up on an empty barrel. His chest was bare, a cowboy hat had been pulled into his face, and in the distance was the outline of a horse.  
“Chris?” he blurted.  
“What?” Larabee asked, then followed Vin’s incredulous gaze. “What the…?”  
The man on the picture did look like a much younger version of Chris Larabee. The face was only half hidden under the hat. The name of the artist was written down as ‘B. Williams’ and the photos dated back some years. Over a decade, actually. There was a small note attached to the plastic tag that told Vin that the picture had already been sold and was no longer available.  
Buck just stared at everything, frozen, completely in shock. “That’s impossible,” he finally managed. “I… these are…”  
“Yours, Buck,” Ezra supplied.“Yes.”  
Wilmington whirled around and stared at the vampire. “How….?”  
“This gallery is owned by a friend of mine,” Ezra explained. “I was here when he started putting up the pictures and sculptures. When I discovered this photography,” he indicated Chris on the chair, “I immediately wanted to know who the photographer was.  My friend couldn’t tell me. He had acquired these works from another friend. This one was a collector of landscape art. He discovered your work in a National Geographics magazine and asked the publishers about your address. He apparently bought most of it back then.”  
Buck’s eyes widened. “The guy who made my day,” he chuckled. “I still remember. I had a call from someone, Meyers or something, and he bought just about every photo I ever made. Paid a nice sum of money.”  
“You sold photographies with me on it?” Chris clarified, a glint in his eyes.  
“Hey,” his oldest friend protested. “I never told the guy the names of the people I took pictures of. He said he loved the play of shadow and light, my eye for detail and the big picture in one.”  
“I didn’t know you worked in photography,” Vin said, still awed. “Mr. B. Williams?”  
Buck shrugged. “What can I say? I was young. I needed the money.”  
Tanner chuckled and hugged him. “Wonderful images,” he whispered.  
His eyes were drawn to another picture that clearly had Chris as its main theme. It had been taken inside a room, Chris was again only dressed in his jeans, and the sunlight filtered through the open blinds, creating an amazing pattern on his bare skin and the wall. Everything was in such stark contrast that it created a life-like, sculptured image. Every single muscle seemed to stand out in clear definition, making the young man leaning against the wall a work of art, simplistic but breath-taking and awe-inspiring.  
Chris Larabee. The young Chris Larabee. At a time when he and Buck had still been lovers. Heck, Vin suddenly knew what had attracted his partner to the man. He wouldn’t have turned down that opportunity either.  
Someone cleared his throat just right of him and Vin glanced over his shoulder, discovering Ezra, who was looking pointedly at him. There was an almost possessive expression in those green eyes. Just for a second, but it was there. Vin shot him an apologetic look, then chuckled softly as he discovered the tag ‘sold’ on the picture as well. No doubt about the identity of the buyer.  
“Why did you give it up?” Vin asked Buck.  
His lover shrugged. “I don’t really know. I did it to finance college and stuff. I never had enough time after that, after starting work…”  
“Maybe you should start again,” Vin suggested.  
They stood in the small, private display area and gazed at the wonderful images.  
“Yeah, why not?” Chris added. “You have a lot of talent, Mr. Williams.”  
Buck smiled and they walked back to the main area. “Yeah, well, maybe. I’ll think about it.”  
Chris suddenly cleared his throat. “Errrr… those prints have been sold already?”  
“Some people have taste,” Vin chuckled.  
It earned him a glare.  
“He’s right,” Ezra supplied, slipping an arm around Chris. “It is… aesthetically pleasing to the… eye.”  
“What?!” Chris exclaimed, then his eyes narrowed and there was a brief amber glow in them. “You!”  
Ezra smiled innocently. “Me?”  
“You bought them! Why?”  
“They are true works of art, Chris.”  
Buck chuckled, trying to be serious when the Larabee Glare was directed at him again. “How many more of those pictures exist?”  
“Uhm… those are the only ones I actually sold, I think.”  
“You think?!”  
“Well, there were more. Still are.” Wilmington grinned wolfishly. In every sense of the word. “But those belong to the private Wilmington collection.”  
Chris gaped. “Private Wilmington what…?” he echoed.  
“You know…” Buck wriggled his eyebrows. “The special ones…”  
“You still have them?” Larabee almost shrieked.  
Ezra suddenly looked very interested. “What kind of private collection, Buck?”  
“Well, those you look at when your lover’s not home and you feel lonely,” the chemist and part-time photographic artist said slowly. “Those that require a really high rating.”  
“Chris in the buff?” Vin chuckled, earning himself a grad four Glare. “You have pictures of your boss in the nude?” His eyes danced merrily.  
“Buck!” Chris hissed and the amber glow returned.  
Ezra gave the taller man a calculating look. “I see.”  
Buck raised his hands in a defensive gesture. “It’s not what you think! I’m over Chris, really. Not interested, Ezra. Not the least. Heck, I didn’t even know I still had them until you mentioned it!”  
“I want those negatives!” Chris demanded.  
“Negatives?” Wilmington spluttered. “I….don’t even know if I still have ‘em.”  
“You better do and they better be mine soon!”  
Ezra was still looking speculative. “Say, Buck, how much would you want for that collection?”  
Chris’s incredulous expression had the older vampire smirk. “You want old pictures of me? Naked? Posing?” he gaped.  
“You were posing?” Vin sputtered between laughter.  
“Shut up, Tanner!”  
“Yes, why not?” Standish asked innocently.  
Chris glared more. Ezra let his eyes wander slowly up the familiar body. One eyebrow rose suggestively. Larabee cleared his throat and Ezra pulled him close. A soft kiss was bestowed onto his lips.  
“I like the way those images show you, Chris.”  
“Huh. Really?”  
“Really.” He leaned close. “To me, you are art,” was whispered into one ear.  
Chris shivered.  
Vin cleared his throat. “If you boys want to get a private room…?” he teased.  
Larabee tried to glare at him, but it was only half-hearted.  
They left the alcove, mingling with the other visitors again.

*

It was some time into the opening of the new gallery and they had seen most of the first and second floor displays. The third floor was mostly sculptures and while Chris and Ezra had climbed upstairs, Vin and Buck had decided to remain on the main floor.  
Vin started as he suddenly felt something brush over his leg. A quick glance showed him a slight smile on his lover’s face as Buck walked past him to the buffet table to get himself another snack. Vin frowned. What had the man in mind? This wasn’t the time nor the place… yet, he had to admit, in a way he liked it. Buck hadn’t done something like this in a long time; hell, he himself hadn’t done this for a long time. Back then, when they had just fallen for one another, they had acted like every new couple and taken almost every opportunity … Vin had to smile at that thought.  
A featherlike kiss on his neck startled him again.  
“Buck!” he hissed.  
Wilmington just smirked and tilted his head before he disappeared once more. The young werewolf shook his head. The man was incorrigible. On the other hand, regarding the events of the last months and the fact that his strong lover had had a really bad break-down, he was grateful for the way Buck was acting now. It told Vin more clearly than any words could have that the other man was healing. Life had changed, rather drastically, for every one of them since a certain green-eyed vampire with a little black feline familiar had joined their group. At least it would never get boring …  
Something brushed against his back, a hand caressing his hip. Vin turned around to tell Buck to stop it, but the moment he opened his mouth the words were swallowed in a quick passionate kiss. His lover’s hand slid from his hip to his groin, applying just enough pressure to make him stir.  
“Buck,” Vin moaned lowly, and the other man retreated, not with out giving him a heated look and an inviting smile, that made Vin’s blood rush down south rather quickly.  
Tanner inhaled deeply. He hadn’t thought that Buck still had such an influence on him. God, how he loved the man!  
From across the room, Vin could feel Buck’s eyes resting on him, waiting patiently. He looked up, locking their gazes, and, giving a silent agreement, worked his way through the crowd to his waiting lover. He had no idea what Buck had in mind, but hell, he was eager to find out.

The moment he closed the door that lead into the back alley behind him, Buck pulled him close into a tight but tender embrace, his lips teasing his neck softly.  
“Buck,” Vin moaned again.  
“Shhh. Don’t wanna talk now.” Buck cupped his face in his hands, stopping every attempt of conversation Vin might have wanted to make with his lips. Only the need for air made them part.  
“Don’t you think this isn’t the right time?”  
Buck pulled back a little and looked at Vin intently. “When, if not now? Where, if not here? I learned something lately, Vin. Time is irrelevant, years are irrelevant. Only moments count. And I want moments, lots of them, and I want them with you. And right now,” he bent forward, letting his lips lovingly brush over Vin’s again, “I want this moment to become a real special one. Or rather,” he smiled, “the ones yet to come.”  
Buck pulled Vin close again, placing another kiss on his lips.  
“My place, in one hour,” he whispered, then he was gone, leaving a slightly confused Vin Tanner behind … who felt the urgent need to think of such things like dead fish or his next tax declaration to become presentable again.

*

Exactly one hour later Vin entered Buck’s apartment, looking around for any sign of his lover. Nothing in the living room so far.  
“Buck?”  
“Bedroom.”  
Vin opened the bedroom door and was astonished at the sight that greeted him. Buck had lit the bedroom with candles, and candles only.  
“Hey, furball,” a soft voice from behind whispered, gentle hands embraced him.  
“Look who’s talking,” Vin replied.  
And then he concentrated on nothing else but soft tender lips that were caressing his neck, gentle hands that were running over his body, freeing him of his jacket and slowly unbuttoning his shirt, fingertips stroking over every inch of exposed skin until they came to rest on his hips, working themselves leisurely toward his pants.  
“Buck,” Vin all but purred, finally feeling the skin of his already undressed lover against his own, his hard member pressing against his back. But Buck withdrew.  
“Later, love. Come here.”  
Buck pulled him toward the bed, removing the rest of his clothing on the way, not without a featherlike touch or kiss here and there. Vin sank down onto the blanket, but instead of joining him Buck gave him a slight smile.  
“Roll onto your stomach.”  
Vin frowned. Not that he had something against quickies now and then but this hadn‘t really started as one.  
“Not what you think.” Buck understood the message. “It’s just that I was thinking of something the other day and wanted to share it with you.”  
“Whatever you have in mind,” Vin answered and demanded another kiss before he turned over.  
He heard Buck open something, then he felt the mattress dip under his weight. The moment the familiar scent reached him he knew. Buck started with slow gentle strokes at his shoulders, massaging the tension from months of strain out of his muscles in the process. He took his time, working himself down Vin’s body, from shoulders over back toward lower back and further south. Vin sighed softly as he reached the buttocks and thighs, spreading his legs a little to allow easier access. He felt Buck’s fingertips brushing over rather sensitive areas of his anatomy and jerked a little at the unexpected jolt of pleasure it gave him.  
“Easy there, furball. Am not done here,” he heard Buck whisper before the sensation of a hot and wet tongue following the path of fingertips made him moan and start again.  
Buck leaned over him, kissing, nibbling and licking his way up and down his body, stroking his flanks, tracing his spine with fingertips and lips.  
“Buck… I’m getting problems here,” Vin moaned.  
“All right, turn over.”  
His lover poured some more of the massage oil into his hands and started all over again, beginning with chest and shoulders, paying special attention to Vin’s nipples and the sensitive area between hips and groin. But he neglected the part of his anatomy Vin wanted him the most, and he ignored every hint Vin gave him.  
“Buck …”  
“Hmmmm?”  
“You planning on doing something this millennia?”  
“Definitely.”  
Buck parted Vin’s legs and kneeled between them. He lifted one leg over his shoulder, placing light kisses on the inside of the thigh until he – finally – reached Vin’s throbbing manhood. The moment Vin thrust into the hot mouth he felt one oil-slicked finger slipping inside him. Buck brushed over the special spot and Vin gasped at the sudden flash of pleasure, back arching.  
“Buck …”  
“Yes?”  
“I want …”  
“Yes …”  
Buck slid up his body, capturing Vin’s lips in a fiery kiss as he gave in to his lover’s desire. With slow long thrust and caresses he took them both over the edge, swallowing Vin’s scream and his own with passionate kisses.

*

Vin settled back against the broad chest of his lover, enjoying both the warmth of the hot water in the bath tub and the closeness of Buck. They hadn’t made love like this for - how long? Vin had no idea, but they hadn’t been together, really together, since Chris had gotten sick. Now it seemed Buck had finally been able to balance the scales again, fixed his broken world. At least Vin hoped so.  
“Buck?”  
“Hm?”  
“It’s nice.”  
“Hope so, furball.”  
“I don’t mean the bath, fuzzface. I mean – you.”  
“Huh?”  
Vin turned his head so he could place a quick kiss on Buck’s lips. “Didn’t you realize you were a thousand miles away from me? Or even farther? You were – I can’t really describe it, it was as if you were in a world of your own, and shutting everybody out, ‘specially me. I tried to reach you, but … it just made it worse?”  
Vin felt Buck wrapping his arms around him, his head resting on his shoulder. Vin kept silent, waiting. He knew pressing the matter wouldn’t help, and he wanted Buck to goddamnit talk! He heard his lover inhale deeply, and for no special reason he got the impression that right here and now a decision was being made. Finally, Buck sighed.  
“I was… and I wasn’t,” the chemist said slowly as if trying to find the right words. “On one hand I tried to explain, tried to talk to you, but on the other hand I didn’t want to unload all my emotional shit on you. Didn’t seem fair … I mean it wasn’t as if I was the only one caught in that mess.”  
Whoa, there was something heading his way, Vin realized. But he wanted, no, needed to know, needed to be near the man he loved. So he just would have to be able to stand whatever might be coming.  
“No, you weren’t,” Vin muttered reassuringly. “But it drove me crazy … you just shut me out … t’was as if you were turning your back on me, and I could see you were hurting. But you wouldn’t let me help … didn’t trust me anymore.”  
“I trust you, Vin, with my heart and soul. You know that, don’t you? You know that I love you?” Buck was almost pleading with him, trying to reassure himself that this was the truth.  
“Yes, I do, Buck,” Vin told him firmly. “But it’s nice to feel it once in a while.”  
Both men fell silent for some time.  
“Buck? Are you going to tell me?” the younger man finally prodded, breaking the silence.  
“What?”  
“What happened? ‘tween you and Ez, for example. And … with you?”  
“Ez?” Wilmington queried.  
Vin heard his lover chuckle humorlessly and cringed inwardly at the harsh sound. Damn, it hurt to hear something like that coming from Buck. It sounded so - disillusioned.  
“I was a stupid jack-ass, that’s what happened. I asked him, no, I almost ordered him to help Chris. I … didn’t realize what it really meant. I mean, it’s not that he didn’t tell me …” Buck grinned again. “In his unique way he told me. I can consider myself lucky to still be alive.”  
“Huh…?”  
“He almost punched my head through a solid brick stone wall, Vin. You saw his apartment. What do you think caused that? And … shit, all the time I felt so goddamn helpless. To just sit there and watch you go through this hell of pain, forced into another shape … then Chris getting sick and dying … and not a single thing I could do. It all just happened, right in front of my eyes. I had no control over my life, and then … over my body …” Buck’s babbling voice stumbled into silence once more.  
Vin swallowed at the thought that suddenly occurred to him. Oh no …  
“How far …?” he whispered.  
“How far was I gone? Or would I have gone?” Buck paused. “Yes, Vin, I would have done it. Back there, in the Park, when the bear got me … I realized just a split second before that I wanted him to get me, that there was a real opportunity presenting itself and all I had to do was take it.”  
Vin tensed. His mind screamed at him that he wasn’t hearing those words. At least not out of his lover’s mouth. This couldn’t be Buck talking. It just couldn’t!  
“Buck, I … are you telling me … ?”  
 “That I wanted to die? Yes, in a way I wanted it,” Wilmington answered bluntly.  
Vin twisted around, wide blue eyes staring at the man behind him. “Buck …”  
Buck cupped his head. “Sshhh, I’m still here. And I won’t go anywhere. Not anymore. Hell, when I woke up and looked into your eyes, I finally realized what I had almost done and that you had followed me… it scared me shitless.“  
Tanner was breathing hard now. He didn’t feel the cooling water around him, didn’t smell the bathing oil, didn’t see the drops of water running down Buck’s broad chest. He just stared into those dark eyes, saw the truth in there and it scared him, it was terrifying, a horror he had never thought he would face in his own home, with his partner. He did sense the touch of the strong hands on his jaw, though, felt the caress of those fingers.  
“Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again, Wilmington!” he whispered harshly. “Or I’m going to bust your sorry ass for it! I’ll find you, wherever you go, and I’ll make it hell!”  
“Nope, won’t.“ Buck smiled timidly. “I swear. But I was so scared. So confused.”  
“You could have talked to me!” Vin told him fiercely. “I thought we were partners!”  
“Because of our relationship I was afraid to talk. Vin, you had so much happening to yourself…. I didn’t want to add to it, too.”  
“And running away, not telling me I bit you, trying to fucking kill yourself wouldn’t have added to it?” Vin almost yelled.  
Buck sighed and hung his head, his hands falling away from where he had touched Vin. “I’m sorry,” was all he had to offer.  
The geologist breathed heavily, kneeling in front of his lover in the water that was by now too cool for his own liking. Finally he reached for the dark head and lifted Buck’s gaze to meet his.  
“I love you,” he told him. “It means that I’m willing to share the good and the bad times with you. It means I’ll be here for you to unload what’s on your mind. It means I’ll listen.”  
“I know…” Buck chewed on his lower lip. “I guess I got a lot more talking to do, hm?”  
Vin nodded and pulled him up with him as he vacated the cold water. “Yep. And some of it should be with Josiah, don’t you think?”  
Buck looked hesitant. “Yeah, probably. But he might be a bit too close for some stuff.”  
Vin toweled himself off and slipped into his sweat pants. He walked over to where Buck had the towel knotted around his waist. “For some, yes. But it might be a start. Just talk to him, see how far you can go. Maybe he knows someone else who can help.”  
Buck wrapped his arms around him, burying his nose in the wet strands of his lover’s hair. “I love you, Vin Tanner,” he whispered again. “I want you to know that, remember that.”  
“I will. Just you remember that the feeling is mutual and that I’ll be here,” Vin renewed his own promise.  
They stood together for a long time, just holding each other.  
“Vin?” Buck finally murmured.  
“Yeah?”  
“Did you call me fuzzface?”

* * *

Ezra entered the bedroom and threw his coat over the chair. The scent that had been radiating from Vin and Buck the whole evening had made his head spin … and obviously not only his. He had received heated looks from Chris over the crowd, and the pheromone level his lover had emanated had increased with the minute. Chris was still in the process of becoming accustomed to his new senses. Speaking of which… he didn’t need to turn around to know that his lover was stepping up right behind him.  
“These two could drive a saint nuts… “ Chris murmured, wrapping his arms around the smaller vampire, nibbling at the exposed skin of his neck.  
Ezra sighed softly and tilted his head a little. “And we both know you are far from being one …”  
“You wouldn’t wanna have me any other way.”  
This time it was more a growl than a murmur, the hands roaming over his body in a more passionate manner, slipping under the shirt, stroking and caressing. Ezra was whirled around in Chris’s arms and the other man started to kiss him, tongue demanding entrance. Next thing Ezra knew he was laying on the bed and sighing at the sound of torn apart fabric.  
“A little impatient, are we?” he breathed, not really caring about his pants.  
He gasped both in surprise and pleasure as he felt the weight of Chris over his body, pushing a leg between his thighs and working himself down his body with hands and tongue until finally a hot and wet mouth engulfed his hard member. Ezra moaned deep in his throat as he gave in to his lover’s need and let go, allowing the desire to take over and wipe out every coherent thought for the rest of the night.

* * *

It was another month after Buck had been turned into a werewolf. He had gone through his second change, this time with Vin’s help and a lot of prior meditation exercises and the same training routines Paul had run Vin through before the second full moon in his young werewolf life. When the lunar phase was over and both men were back to their normal selves again, Ezra made a decision and called them over for a ‘talk’.  
Ezra looked at the two men now sitting on Chris’s living room couch, noting that while Buck still seemed a bit on the downside, he appeared much better than in days.  
“I asked you over because I wanted to talk face to face with you,” he started as Chris sank down on the two-seater couch, balancing a bowl of chips and some beers. He smiled briefly. Despite his repeated reminders to his lover that Chris didn’t need all that, Larabee wasn’t fazed. It was a human craving and in the years to come, it would lessen and finally disappear.  
“What happened?” Vin asked, a slight frown on his features, one of the kittens on his lap and scratching its back.  
Ezra chuckled. “Nothing, really. For once, this isn’t about an impending catastrophe. First of all it’s to tell you that Chris and I are moving into our own place.”  
Buck’s eyes lit up and a smile appeared on his lips. “Whooo-hoo!” he exclaimed. “About time!”  
Chris grinned. “Look who’s talking. You two took your time, too.”  
“Where?” Vin asked, directing his question at Ezra.  
“I have this old Victorian house that I had planned to rent out or make into a hotel. I scrapped those plans. Chris and I are moving in the moment inside renovations are completed.”  
“Victorian house, uh? Sounds cool.” Buck raised his eyebrows.  
“Actually, it’s more of a mansion,” Chris corrected. “We each have our own apartment. Kinda like you two. Separate but with a connecting door.”  
“Copy cat,” Wilmington commented good-naturedly. The tri-colored kitten chose that moment to climb onto his lap and demand some attention. He happily gave it to her.  
“It’s a working system,” Ezra explained. “We won’t crowd the other 24/7, but we can be together when we want to.”  
“So you need moving buddies?” Buck inquired.  
“Not yet. Renovations will take another two or three weeks. But we’d be glad for any help,” Standish told them with a smile. “This isn’t the main reason why I called you here, though.”  
Two pairs of eyebrows rose and Buck played with some crackers.  
“Both of you have had major changes in your lives. While one of you being a werewolf could still be accommodated in your present life style, two wolves means twice as many problems and probably a lot more trouble. The wolf needs to get out at night, especially throughout the full moon. It never proved to be a problem while Buck was still human, but now it’s two wolves. At the same time. Your apartment complex is pretty lively. Even at night.”  
Ezra looked intently at the two men and saw them exchange looks. It confirmed that they had had trouble already. He had a pretty good guess how hard it was to hide the fact that one had to change into a four-legged furry form at night, at least once a month, maybe even more. He and Chris had discussed what he was about to offer at length. If Vin and Buck agreed, there was nothing standing in their way.  
“The mansion is large, as Chris mentioned. It has four separate apartments, as well as an attic and a basement. The estate as such is surrounded by trees and there isn’t another house close enough to actually see what’s going on.” Ezra looked at them. “I’m offering you those two empty apartments if you want to. You don’t have to decide now. They will remain empty for apparent reasons. But if you feel the need to move, you will always be welcome.”  
Buck’s jaw had dropped and Vin’s eyes were wide.  
“That’s one heck of an offer,” Wilmington finally breathed.  
“With no due date,” Chris added with a smile. “Buck, we know this is out of the blue, but Ezra and I discussed it. Hiding yourselves is not a long-term option. You might not want to move now, but if you have to, you can come to us. If you don’t mind living with two vampires.”  
Vin looked hesitant and Ezra had the feeling that the geologist wanted to breach a, for him, sensitive topic but wasn’t sure how to. So he waited, shooting an encouraging look at him. Finally Vin inhaled deeply.  
“Don’t get me wrong, guys. It’s an amazing offer and I wouldn’t mind living in the same complex you do. I know there wouldn’t be a breach of privacy or anything, but … having good friends as your landlords is not something I’m actually looking forward to.” He shot Ezra an apologetic look.  
“Landlords?” Chris echoed. “Who said…?”  
Ezra squeezed his shoulder, stopping him. “I’m not asking for rent, Vin. You’d be expected to pay your share of the normal maintenance, water, heat, electricity and such. I’m not charging anything for the apartments.”  
Vin stared at him. “But…”  
“I’m not doing this out of charity either,” Ezra cut him off, holding the blue eyes with firm green ones. “This is an offer because I have a) the room to spare and b) you have had enough shit happening to you two already. You don’t need to look over your shoulders each time you change at home on top of that.”  
Those were clear, blunt words. Ezra knew it was the only way to get somewhere with those two at the moment.  
“Thanks,” Buck finally managed.  
“You’re welcome. You can have a look at the apartments whenever you want. Talk about it, make a decision. No pressure at all,” Standish went on. “As for work-related problems… You’ll get your own phone lines, you can work with a p.o. box if you like. No one has to know that you live at the same address your team leader does.” He shot Chris a grin.  
Vin nodded. “Sounds good. I think I’d like to have a look at it.” He glanced at his lover and Wilmington nodded. “Tomorrow?”  
“I think I can squeeze you in,” Ezra replied with a grin.  
Buck chuckled, rubbing the tri-colored kitten’s belly. “Say, what are you gonna do with those three kitties?”  
Ezra sighed. “We can’t keep them all. I was thinking of giving them away, to people in the community or those I know.”  
Buck lifted the kitten and gazed into the large, green eyes. It meowed at him.  
“Uh-oh,” Vin muttered. “Bu-uck….”  
“Look at her. Isn’t she a cute little rascal?” Wilmington made puppy-dog eyes at his lover.  
“We can’t keep cats, Buck!”  
“Why? Two cats won’t feel lonely when we are at work…”  
“Buck…”  
Buck held the small furry ball in his hands out to Vin. “Look at that little fuzzy face, Vin,” he begged.  
“Mwew?” The kitten pleaded.  
Vin rolled his eyes and looked at Ezra. “Ez…”  
The vampire shrugged. “I wouldn’t say no. I think you two could give them a nice home.”  
Tanner sighed deeply. “Thanks for the help, Standish!”  
“Always a pleasure.”  
“Vin, c’mon….”  
The red kitten chose that moment to butt her little head against his fingers, demanding attention. “This is a conspiracy!” the werewolf growled but complied with the kitten’s wishes.  
“Vin?”  
“We are wolves, Buck…”  
“So what? Chris and Ezra are vampires.”  
“We change into wolves!”  
“They’ll get used to it!”  
“Mweeew!”  
“I give up!”  
Buck grinned brightly.  
Chris chuckled. “Welcome to the club of people-owned-by-cats.”  
“Which ones?” Ezra wanted to know, eyes twinkling.  
Buck smiled down at the tri-colored one that was trying to look under his t-shirt. “Guess I was chosen. What about you?”  
Vin chuckled. “Same here.” The red kitten was his.  
“So, what am I going to call you?” Wilmington wondered.  
“Mew?”  
“How about Peekaboo?”  
Vin stared at him. “Peekaboo? You can’t call a cat Peekaboo!”  
“Why not? It’s a perfectly valid name!”  
Tanner sighed. “Poor kitty.” He let his own kitten chew on his finger.  
Buck harrumphed. “Don’t listen to him, little one,” he told Peekaboo. “It’s a fine name.”  
“Mew!”  
Ezra and Chris grinned at the little exchange. “What about yours?” Chris wanted to know.  
“I’m not sure yet,” Vin replied. “I’ll think about it.”  
“Coward,” Buck teased, letting Peekaboo take a peek under his shirt again.  
“What about the last one?” Vin wanted to know, changing the topic.  
Ezra shrugged.  
“Well, I might know someone who could use the company,” Buck said slowly, a grin spreading over his features.

A week later, JD Dunne was the proud owner of a blackish-gray kitten by the name of Bagheera.

* * *

Orrin Travis walked through the familiar halls of the Clarion Tower, on his way to the office of his most unusual team. The seven men had been a mixed group before, but now… now they defied definition and reason, logic and common sense. As if Tanner as a werewolf hadn’t been enough, now he had a second werewolf, too. As well as a vampire. Not to mention Ezra Standish, who wasn’t an official member of the team but an important part anyway. In what way he was involved in he daily operations was still a mystery to Travis, but the nagging part that hadn’t left him alone in a while, was still there. One day he might find out, but until then he blissfully ignored everything that might give him further insight.  
Ezra was the center of this whole mess, but also a vital part of the team. Without him, a lot would have been destroyed. Travis had no illusions about that. Vin would most likely have either run or killed himself after discovering what he was. Buck wouldn’t have been the same after the death of his lover. With Vin gone, and Wilmington most likely following one way or the other, the team might have broken apart. Chris’s cancer would have ended fatally as well.  
Yes, Orrin Travis had a lot to be thankful for, even if it meant the CSI and with it The Branch now had a paranormally enhanced team.  
Today marked a very special day for the Assistant Director. Today was the day Chris had agreed to return to work. A team meeting had been called for the early evening hours, just after sundown. Changes would have to be made to accommodate the new status of Agent Larabee, but it was nothing Travis couldn’t handle. In the last nine months Chris had been on sick leave, things had already changed, so this little addition wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.  
Walking into the meeting room, Travis was pleased to note that the six men were already present.  
“Gentlemen,” he greeted the men.  
An chorus of “Sir’s”  answered him.  
“Good to see you are all here and accounted for,” Travis went on as he remained standing. His gaze strayed to Wilmington, but he looked no different than before.  
“I called this meeting because there will be a few modifications to this team.”  
A series of frowns made its round, mostly on the faces of Sanchez and Jackson. Those two were the only ones who didn’t know about Buck’s transformation. They and Dunne had no idea about Chris’s vampirism, too. This would be a very interesting meeting.  
“First of all, I’d like to announce that there will be no changes in the team leader’s status, though,” he added.  
“Sir?” Nathan asked, a bit perplexed.  
“He means I’m still your boss, Nathan,” a new voice announced.  
Chris walked through the door, smiling at the startled men who hadn’t seen him in the last months.  
“Chris?” the medic blurted, eyes raking over the very healthy and strong looking man.”You’re okay again? Healed?  
“Yes. I’m okay again and I’m back in charge of this team.” Chris’s eyes twinkled as he looked at a very relieved Vin.  
“The team’s schedule as such will undergo changes, though,” Travis took charge of the meeting again as Chris settled in a chair. “You are the best I have and you’ve shown me what you can do under pressure those last months. I want you on the night shift, people. Curt’s team has had some recent transfers out of Salt Lake and Curt himself told me he’s looking into early retirement. They were my prime investigators in that shift. I know it might create problems in your personal lives, but to keep this team operational, I had to consider pushing you into a different time slot.”  
Josiah cocked his head to one side. “To keep us operational?” he repeated. “With Chris back in charge, I see no need to change anything.”  
Travis looked at the blond team leader. “Well, Agent Larabee, this is your show now.”  
“Thank you, sir.”  
“If you’ll excuse me. I doubt a bottle of brandy would suffice to get me through this meeting,” Travis simply said as he rose.  
Confused looks followed him as he left the room. He smiled widely to himself as he walked back to the elevator banks.  
The team was in for one heck of a surprise. Well, actually two.

* * *

“It went better than I thought!” Chris sighed as he sank back into his chair.  
“Yep. Now there’s only one more call to make.” Ezra held out the portable phone. “Drew. And Jo-Ann.”  
“You want me to tell them?” Chris shot him an incredulous look.  
Ezra raised his eyebrows. “Don’t they deserve to know?”  
“You actually want me to reveal the existence of vampires to them?”  
Standish met his eyes steadily. His lover sighed.  
“It’s up to you.”  
“Great.”  
“Chris. He’s your son. She’s his mother. Your ex-wife.”  
Another sigh.  
“I need to think about it.”

Not much later, Andrew Larabee and Jo-Ann Webster, divorced Larabee, followed the invitation to come to Salt Lake City to visit Chris after his long fight against cancer. To say the revelation about Chris’s nature was a shock was too mild a word for it, It was pretty accurately summed up by Drew, though.  
“My dad’s a gay vampire?”

  * * *

Epilogue

Chris sat on the porch of their new home, enjoying the evening sun, looking down into the garden and watching four little kittens playing - with a large light-gray Timber wolf. Closely observed by their mother, Shawn. He couldn't suppress a small laugh at that.  
In the last weeks, the team had settled into their new shift, as well as accepted the changes that had occurred among them. Chris’s vampirism had been the biggest shock. Nathan had demanded blood tests and detailed reports. Chris had answered as many questions as he could and had finally told the doctor that this was about as in-depth an information he was ever going to get. Jackson had accepted it and gone back to his silent study of vampires and werewolves.  
Buck’s change had been less of a hair-raiser. With Vin already being a werewolf, it seemed almost natural for Buck to be one now, too. Wilmington himself was glad about keeping a low profile.  
The team as such worked smoothly again. It had taken some readjusting, but a new case had shown them that despite the months of absence, Chris hadn’t forgotten what it meant to be a CSI agent.  
"A sight for sore eyes," someone behind Chris remarked rather dryly, drawing im out of his thoughts.  
"Thank you."  
"I meant the younguns."  
Buck stepped to his side, eyes wandering over to the furry form of his lover entertaining the kittens. They just loved playing hide and seek - not to mention catch - with the bushy tail of the young werewolf. Or to climb all over him. Thank goodness the fur was thick, and the baby claws not too sharp yet.  
“So, what did Vin name his cat?” Chris wanted to know.  
Buck grimaced. “Sequoia.”  
Larabee blinked. He looked at the cat, then at Buck. “He named a small, red cat after a huge, red tree?”  
Wilmington shrugged. “Search me. Must be a Vin thing.”  
Chris chuckled. Both men fell silent and watched the game in the garden. Chris noticed a faint smile on Buck's face.  
"What's on your mind?"  
"Lots."  
"Ah. Figured that much."  
The silence stretched between them, but Chris knew that pushing his oldest friend wouldn't get him far.  
"I was thinking," Buck slowly said. "We're one hell of a lucky bunch."  
"Oh?"  
"Uhm-hm." Buck nodded. "Just look at what happened lately. You meetin' Ez and falling in love again; Vin becoming a werewolf; you... dying and becoming a vampire." Buck smiled again. "That's something I’ll have to get accustomed to."  
"You? Welcome to the club. Don't forget the cute little fact that you yourself got a furry alter-ego, too." Chris raised an eyebrow.  
"Uhm-hm. "  
Pause.  
"You know... I never thanked you, did I?"  
Chris blinked "Whatever for?"  
"Bringing Vin and me together back then."  
"Oh. That."  
"Yes. That. Without your intervention... I don't think I’d have had the courage to approach him."  
"That's history, Buck."  
"No, it's not." Buck placed a hand on Chris's shoulder and squeezed, nodding at the slightly puzzled man. "Thank you." Before Chris had the chance to react, Buck withdrew and grinned. "You know... I'm really curious what the future might bring."  
"Did I miss something?"  
The voice behind the two men belonged to Ezra. The vampire appeared on the porch, carrying a mug and a bowl. "You know it doesn't do anything to you, don't you?" He smiled, handing the bowl over to Chris.  
"Yep. It doesn't make me fat."  
Ezra chuckled. "I'll tell Luther. Now, did I?"  
"Did you what?"  
"Miss something important?"  
Buck just shook his head and walked past Ezra, stopping for a second to slightly slap the vampire's forearm.  
"Thanks."  
Then he walked into the house.  
"What was that all about?" Chris asked, watching his smiling lover.  
"Just a friend, Chris. Just a friend."  
He wrapped his arms around his lover and both watched as a huge black wolf joined the players in the garden.


End file.
